Thursday, November 21, 2024

Jersey Teams Are In Shambles. NFL Week 12 Preview

A New York Giants fan hugging a New York Jets fan on a cloudy day.


As the only true New Yorker NFL team, the Buffalo Bills enters their bye week fresh off of knocking off the defending champion Chiefs while the New York Jets and Giants by way of New Jersey are once again sucking ass. Aaron Rodgers' injury after 4 plays tanked the Jets season last year so they thought they would be playoff bound with him healthy. Instead, they're a complete mess with a defense that regressed after firing their head coach Robert Saleh and now rudderless after firing their GM Joe Douglas. It's easy to blame Aaron for the teams struggles even though he's doing fine passing for 2,442 yards, 17 TDs and 7 INTs (getting sacked 26 times doesn't help though). But the fact of the matter is the Jets were a dumpster fire before he arrived and will continue to be one when he retires and/or move on to the Vikings as long as they have that incompetent dipshit of an owner in Woody Johnson running things.

As for their Meadowlands roommate, this would be a season to forget if it wasn't the 100th season (remember that?) for the New York Football Giants. Daniel Jones went from Danny Dimes to benched (to released) following a long list of QBs who had a hot start to their careers only to faceplant once defenses figure them out. Brian Daboll went from Coach of the Year to likely getting fired like other coaches who was hailed as a savior only to get shitcanned once the losses piled up. At least Tommy DeVito will get another crack at proving that he can be a viable NFL starter. Even if DT Dexter Lawrence doesn't seem to think their chances of winning improved with ole Tommy Cutlets at the helm.


THE GAMES


2024 NFL season week 12 Pittsburgh Steelers vs Cleveland Browns
Pittsburgh Steelers   23
Cleveland Browns    10

Steelers kicker Chris Boswell put the FOOT In Football as he singlefootedly beat the Ravens 18-16. He made all 6 of his field goals while formerly automatic Ravens kicker Justin Tucker struggled again missing 2 field goals. It's gotten so bad people feel they should cut him, which they won't do for now. In other news, Myles Garrett wants T.J. Watt to apologize for tweeting out his disappointment of not winning Defensive Player of the Year last season. Anything to get people to care about his 2-8 Browns, I guess.


2024 NFL season week 12 Kansas City Chiefs vs Carolina Panthers
Kansas City Chiefs  42
Carolina Panthers    19

What better way to take out your anger of the Bills ending your undefeated season by stomping out the Panthers?


2024 NFL season week 12 Minnesota Vikings vs Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings   17
Chicago Bears         27

What better way to rebound from a crushing loss due to a blocked field goal (that might've been illegal) than upsetting your division rival?


2024 NFL season week 12 Tennessee Titans vs Houston Texans
Tennessee Titans   23
Houston Texans      7

Speaking of upsets, here's a projected one in The Battle for Houston Oilers.


2024 NFL season week 12 Detroit Lions vs Indianapolis Colts
Detroit Lions             20
Indianapolis Colts    14

That was a nice performance by Colts QB Anthony Richardson last week but I don't see him doing that against the Lions.


2024 NFL season week 12 New England Patriots vs Miami Dolphins
New England Patriots    6
Miami Dolphins             30

I hate to say this but the Dolphins are not going to the playoffs. I'm looking at their remaining schedule and at best I see them finishing 8-9.


2024 NFL season week 12 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs New York Giants
Tampa Bay Buccaneers   13
New York Giants               17

The only good thing you can say about the G-Men is Eli Manning is a semifinalist for the 2025 Pro Football Hall of Fame.


2024 NFL season week 12 Dallas Cowboys vs Washington Commanders
Dallas Cowboys                      6
Washington Commanders   37

You know things are bad when your stadium is falling apart as a piece of sheet metal fell from the roof of AT&T Stadium when they were opening it before the Texans-Cowboys game. Washington is familiar with being mocked in the past for their shitty stadium due to their shitty GRASS field sabotaging their star QB's career, poop pipes bursting over fans and guardrail breaking sending fans crashing to the ground right next to their rival's star QB. But this is new territory for the Boys as the team sucks so bad the stadium is littered with empty seats! As for the fans who do show up, they're wearing paper bags over their heads! Just start Trey Lance already and see what you have in him cause Cooper Rush ain't it.


2024 NFL season week 12 Denver Broncos vs Las Vegas Raiders
Denver Broncos         9
Las Vegas Raiders   17

Colorado Buffaloes QB Shedeur Sanders will play in the 2025 East-West Shrine Bowl. Hopefully they drilled down all the sheet metal before they open the roof again.


2024 NFL season week 12 San Francisco 49ers vs Green Bay Packers
San Francisco 49ers   28
Green Bay Packers     20

The Niners are really banged up, but they need this win to stay alive in the playoff race.


2024 NFL season week 12 Arizona Cardinals vs Seattle Seahawks
Arizona Cardinals   21
Seattle Seahawks   17

I didn't notice the Cardinals are leading the NFC West. If they keep this up, their 37-year-old offensive coordinator Drew Petzing might get poached by another team to be The Next Sean McVay.


2024 NFL season week 12 Philadelphia Eagles vs Los Angeles Rams
Philadelphia Eagles   31
Los Angeles Rams    13

I doubt the 36-year-old Eagles OC Kellen Moore will get a head coaching gig though.


2024 NFL season week 12 Baltimore Ravens vs Los Angeles Chargers
Baltimore Ravens           23
Los Angeles Chargers   10

If the Ravens defense wasn't trash, they would be a juggernaut. Also, it's HarBowl III!


LAST WEEK:  8-6
OVERALL:    100-66

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