Thursday, November 28, 2024

If Your Turkey Is Dry, You Can't Cook. NFL Week 13 Preview

A turkey in the desert.


A common reason why people don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving is because they claim it's dry. If they do eat it, then they only eat the dark meat while avoiding the white meat. Well, if your turkey comes out dry when you cook it, your ass can't cook! We have aluminum foil/pans and oven bags for this reason to keep the bird moist as it cooks in its own juices! If you're too stubborn or ignorant to use these, then that's YOUR FAULT that it comes out dry, not the turkey.


THE GAMES


2024 NFL week 13 Chicago Bears vs Detroit Lions
Chicago Bears   12
Detroit Lions      14

Listen, it's Thanksgiving Day. By the time you read this, it will probably be the 3rd quarter of TNF so I'm zooming through this. Besides, I got some turkey-based AI art to generate after this.


2024 NFL week 13 New York Giants vs Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants   21
Dallas Cowboys   34

FOX is still using Roundball Rock for college basketball. That's neat.


2024 NFL week 13 Miami Dolphins vs Green Bay Packers
Miami Dolphins         23
Green Bay Packers    7

Tyreek Hill's traffic citations were dismissed after the cops no showed the hearing so lucky him.


2024 NFL week 13 Las Vegas Raiders vs Kansas City Chiefs
Las Vegas Raiders   17
Kansas City Chiefs  19

I expected a more lopsided win than this. Oh well.


2024 NFL week 13 Los Angeles Chargers vs Atlanta Falcons
Los Angeles Chargers   17
Atlanta Falcons                6

After like a decade of having its existence threatened, Irwindale Speedway will shut down. Sad.


2024 NFL week 13 Pittsburgh Steelers vs Cincinnati Bengals
Pittsburgh Steelers   27
Cincinnati Bengals   28

It would be stupid for the Steelers to take the Bengals lightly just because they're 4-7.


2024 NFL week 13 Houston Texans vs Jacksonville Jaguars
Houston Texans            23
Jacksonville Jaguars   16

AEW had Dustin Rhodes promote next year's All In: Texas at Globe Life Field in Arlington. It will be their first U.S. stadium show as the others were in London. They can't even sell out basketball arenas so how the hell Tony expects to sell out a baseball stadium? He better hope all those British people who went to the previous All In PPVs at Wembley decide to fly to America to attend this one. Otherwise, there's gonna be a lot of tarped off sections.


2024 NFL week 13 Arizona Cardinals vs Minnesota Vikings
Arizona Cardinals   24
Minnesota Vikings  14

Daniel Jones went from Giants starting QB to Vikings practice squad. Damn Daniel.


2024 NFL week 13 Indianapolis Colts vs New England Patriots
Indianapolis Colts          21
New England Patriots    27

There are reports that the Patriots are resigned to a multiyear rebuild. That won't make the fans or Boston media happy but maybe they can gradually build their team up like the Lions.


2024 NFL week 13 Seattle Seahawks vs New York Jets
Seattle Seahawks    20
New York Jets          23

With all this Jets drama, it wouldn't surprise me if A-Rod doesn't return next year.


2024 NFL week 13 Tennessee Titans vs Washington Commaders
Tennessee Titans                   3
Washington Commanders   19

It looks like Commies kicker Austin Seibert missed 2 PATs and an FG because he injured his groin, which could be a result from coming back too soon from a hip injury: So, with him going back to IR, it's now Zane Gonzalez's job to lose.


2024 NFL week 13 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Carolina Panthers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers  23
Carolina Panthers            24

Speaking of basketball, the NBA's new all-star game tournament is stupid. Maybe it's because I don't watch basketball, but I feel it's ridiculous to expect players to play hard in an EXHIBITION game. All-star games are supposed to be about having fun with the best players in the league, not playing like you're in a contract year. The media bring up fans paying their hard-earned money to watch this game but let's be real, the majority of those people in attendance are celebrities, social media douchebags, corporate people and clubbers. But if they're so hell bent on "fixing" the all-star game, make it USA vs World to spice things up.


2024 NFL week 13 Los Angeles Rams vs New Orleans Saints
Los Angeles Rams     45
New Orleans Saints    21

In Australia, they're using fibers from safety vests as a replacement of cement in concrete since 12,000 tons of them end up in landfills every year. It makes you wonder why we don't turn waste into building materials, fuel and other things more often since we have an endless supply of it?


2024 NFL week 13 Philadelphia Eagles vs Baltimore Ravens
Philadelphia Eagles   14
Baltimore Ravens       41

If pests like rats and roaches were edible, would it solve world hunger?


2024 NFL week 13 San Francisco 49ers vs Buffalo Bills
San Franciso 49ers   24
Buffalo Bills               29

Apparently, Mike Tirico has been calling games with a torn Achilles. NBC should give him the night off so we can get the father-son team of Cris and Jac Collinsworth for SNF!


2024 NFL week 13 Cleveland Browns vs Denver Broncos
Cleveland Browns   24
Denver Broncos      20

Happy Thanksgiving!!!


LAST WEEK:   6-7
OVERALL:      106-73

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