This was a interesting Memorial Day Weekend in the sporting world. Lost wedding rings, flying tires, failed physicals, hoodwinked fans and more occurred in the past week. Let's just get this out the way and say I didn't watch any of the USFL games. Unlike last year, I didn't watch any races either. I was busy making gifs for my sexy top ten list. So what happened last week?
THE GAMES
Houston Gamblers 28
Pittsburgh Maulers 21
The Indy 500 was the headline race last Sunday and HOO BOY they made some news! Fans didn't like Jewel's rendition of the National Anthem (Titus O'Neil don't seem to mind her). Felix Rosenqvist hit the wall and spun out leading to Kyle Kirkwood hitting him causing his tire to pop off and fly out of the racetrack! Luckily the tire didn't hit anyone, but it did land on Robin Matthews' 2012 Chevy Cruze in the parking lot. IMS owner Roger Penske is making it up to her by inviting her to kiss the bricks after the race and buying her a new car. Josef Newgarden finally won the race after 12 attempts but F1 fans didn't like he turned down towards pit road then back on the track to break up the draft last year's winner Marcus Ericsson had on him. Whew!
Philadelphia Stars 32
Birmingham Stallions 35
I didn't watch the games, but I did read that Stars QB Case Cookus lost his wedding ring during his game. He notified his wife through the on-field cameraman so he wouldn't face any cheating allegations when he gets home. Good thing there was less people at the game than at a AEW PPV so she could clearly hear him. He's probably miked too. In other football related news...
Memphis Showboats 24
New Jersey Generals 17
Antonio Brown said he would suit up for the Albany Empire against the Fayetteville Mustangs last Saturday. That didn't happen. They sold about 2,000 extra tickets with the announcement but the most they saw out of A.B that night was halftime selfies. Sure, he's bringing attention to the team and league in general but this season has been a shitshow and the NAL is a laughing stock. More of a laughing stock than the Raiders who had to change Jimmy G's contract due to him failing his physical. Will fellow team owner Tom Brady play next season? Doubtful but he wouldn't need to tease a return to the field to get fans in the building. BTW, I find it funny the announcers kept saying this is the first time Ronald Rivers III played pro ball even though he played in the USFL last year! I pretty fucking sure that's more professional than the NAL.
Michigan Panthers 25
New Orleans Breakers 27
As for me, I really fucked up this month. I started the sexy series late. Took multiple breaks wasting time like always. Then I forget that I didn't make gifs for like 4 months so I had to hurry up and do those in a day. Well, I ran out of time and 3 months are unfinished. That also affects my XFL end of season review and all no photo team since I want to be done with the puppies before I work on extreme footballs. I'm doing awful on picks compared to last season and that probably won't change for another week. I should be done with everything by July, hopefully.
LAST WEEK: 2-2
OVERALL: 15-13
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