Let's Talk Madden 24. USFL Week 9 Preview

It's another week where I ignore everything that happened in the USFL to talk about something else. EA posted the Madden 24 reveal trailer and Bills QB Josh Allen will be on the cover. The usual suspects ranted about the game and I can't blame him. EA peddled some new Homosapien technology that rebuilds "the character skeleton providing more body definition and variation to on field physiques" in order to make them "more human and anatomically correct", improve "authentic athletic motion" and provide them "true-to-life movement patterns on the field". I for one call bullshit on that. Especially since the character models still look the same. Since I'm pushing the definition of a paragraph, I'll breakdown each gripe I have below.

THE GAMES

Michigan Panthers   25

Pittsburgh Maulers  23

They say the players will look more realistic in this game, but the character models look the same as they did last year. Their skin still has that plasticky look where their biceps meld into their arms instead of their muscles having a defined shape. They show different star players' faces, but I highly doubt most of the other players will have their faces in the game. Like goddamn, if you can't scan their faces, just use a picture and put THAT in the game, it's not that damn hard. That would be better than using a generic face with the wrong hairstyle. 

New Orleans Breakers  37

Memphis Showboats    30

Mini-Camp has returned to Madden! That mode hasn't been in the game since Madden 12 on the PS2. Will the players be in practice jerseys and shorts? Probably not but from what I could make out of the blurs near the end of the video, QBs will be wearing red jerseys. They always remove something then bring it back years later calling it a new thing. If referees really are on the field again, they will probably release a video about them motion capturing one for this game.

Birmingham Stallions  28

Houston Gamblers       17

You would think in a trailer that's hyped up to be realistic, they wouldn't show the Cardinals in their old uniforms. They revealed their Ohio State Utes uniforms in April so it's public knowledge what they will look like. Just like it's public knowledge that both Kirk Cousins and Micah Parsons are 6'3", YET Micah towers over Kirk. Madden has a history of fucking up the heights of players in cutscenes. Maurice Jones-Drew grew a foot in Madden 13 while in huddles. In other news, I can't wait for H3dHunt3r619 to win the MUT Super Bowl Tournament by having his Liquid Black Gold Chronomaly Tom Brady only doing the Patrick Mahomes diving pass in every game.

Philadelphia Stars        26

New Jersey Generals   21

NFTs was another thing people got mad over. Of course, EA denies that they're bringing NFTs into their soccer game and Madden with their Nike .SWOOSH partnership but c'mon. But to be honest, MUT and other ultimate team type online modes were NFTs before it was cool. You buy digital cards, gear and other items with real money and sell them on the marketplace. Once the server shuts down, your digital items is worthless and you pump hundreds or thousands of dollars on new digital items for the next game. So sports gamers are the perfect market to introduce this to because they're used to buying crap that's worthless in the real world.

LAST WEEK:   4-0

OVERALL:     19-13