Last week, I said I was gonna talk about the elder statemen of the NFL if all of them lost. That didn't happen so here I am typing out a rushed prologue a hour before the TNF game starts. I could've talked shit about why Black people aren't playing baseball (it's because it's boring and it sucks) but maybe I will save that for after the World Series. Or about how Panthers WR D.J. Moore would've scored a game winning TD if he didn't get a unsportsmanlike penalty like a dumbass which led to Eddy Piñeiro missing the PAT, which led to Falcons' Younghoe Koo kicking the game winning FG in overtime. Or about the passing of HOF Raiders punter Ray Guy. Or about wanting to create a mobile adult football game. So here's this rambling paragraph to kick off the week 9 preview. Better than bragging about finishing before halftime I guess.
THE GAMES
Philadelphia Eagles 42
Houston Texans 10
After weeks of defensive battles/offensive ineptitude, Amazon gives us a entertaining TNF game. Only to give us another trash ass game. Thursday nights generally are bad games since players have fewer days to rest and Fox/CBS/NBC are hogging all the marquee matchups while Amazon and ESPN gets the scraps. We will continue to watch because bad NFL football is better than no football at all. And I will be there in front of my screen watching the undefeated Eagles blowout these trash ass Texans. At least Houston has the Astros and Roughnecks to bring them joy while the Texans can get shipped off to Germany and the Rockets to China for all they care.
Los Angeles Chargers 17
Atlanta Falcons 38
Bad offense vs shit defense, who ya got? The simulation believes the Falcons will run the ball all over the Chargers while the Bolts lack of run game will make them too one dimensional.
Miami Dolphins 16
Chicago Bears 20
While the Bears are seemingly punting on this season so they can build for the future, the Dolphins are in win now mode trading for LB Bradley Chubb and giving him a 5 year $110 million contract extension. He will be a big help on defense considering they're 27th in the league.
Carolina Panthers 30
Cincinnati Bengals 17
I swear, if these kitties get curb stomped by the goddamn Panthers like what happened on Monday night, I'm writing this team off because obviously they blew their load on last year's Super Bowl appearance and are still in the refractory period. That and their O-line is awful.
Green Bay Packers 48
Detroit Lions 44
Another week, another loss. With all the complaining about the Packers receivers, they could've traded for a proven one at the trade deadline but it "didn't pan out" (Why they couldn't trade for TE T.J. Hockenson? The Lions have no problem trading in the division). Aaron Rodgers isn't cooked but if these young receivers are aggravating him so much, then run the damn ball more! Despite them being 12th in rushing, Aaron Jones is 5th in yards. It's ridiculous that such a talented RB is in the top ten for rushing yards this season but only has 1 TD. You can't complain about the failures of a position group while ignoring the success of another.
Las Vegas Raiders 30
Jacksonville Jaguars 37
Of course the Jags traded for a suspended player. But unlike Deshaun Watson, Calvin Ridley isn't coming back anytime soon. Can Calvin help them whenever he's allowed to return? Possibly. Hopefully they draft some defensive players because their offense isn't the problem.
Indianapolis Colts 27
New England Patriots 28
They fired his ass and hired...Jeff Saturday? Really? I get you're tanking the season and Jeff is beloved by the Colts fanbase but couldn't you assign a interim who's a assistant on your team already? I wouldn't want Gus Bradley coaching my team but John Fox had successes in his career. And if you just want a popular name, Cato June and Reggie Wayne are right there!
Buffalo Bills 24
New York Jets 9
Speaking of the Colts, they traded away RB Nyheim Hines to the Bills to bolster their lacking running game. Pat McAfee wasn't happy about it. They also are in the OBJ sweepstakes looking to sign the free agent WR once he recovers from his torn ACL. Meanwhile, the Jets decided not to trade away their disgruntled WR Elijah Moore. I don't see why would you keep someone who doesn't want to be there and complains about his stats even though they're winning. Instead of trading him for someone who actually wants to be there or draft picks that can help them in the future, they're stuck with him. They say winning cures all but he's not having it. Jets gonna Jets.
Minnesota Vikings 7
Washington Thunderbolts 23
Fresh off showing up Jim Irsay, Dan Snyder started the process to sell the Washington Football Team. Why say it like that? Because it's possible that he only sells a minority stake to fuck with the owners, media and everybody else who hates him. How petty, yet on brand that would be to sell like, 25% of the team for $1.4 billion and have that person be the face of the team. Or not?
Seattle Seahawks 30
Arizona Cardinals 27
These teams are similar but have opposite records and are in opposite positions of where people expected them to be. It's amazing what you can do when you have good coaching, a QB who learns from his mistakes and rookies who actually listen to what established veterans have to say. Like having 3 of your players on the October Players of the Month list.
Los Angeles Rams 17
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 0
I was gonna say Tom Brady should retire but I see he's second in passing with 2,267 yards, 9 TDs, a INT and 13 sacks. He may not be cooked either but a air-it-out offense is NOT a winning formula. They need to run the ball more in order to salvage this season. Something the Rams could stand to do too which is likely why they kept their disgruntled RB Cam Akers. A win for either team will keep them in the division race but a loss will pretty much kill their playoff hopes.
Tennessee Titans 39
Kansas City Chiefs 21
It took awhile but former Chiefs assistant Britt Reid was finally sentenced to 3 years in prison for drunk driving, speeding and hitting 2 cars that left a 5 year old girl with brain damage. Good.
Baltimore Ravens 30
New Orleans Saints 24
While we all agree the Ravens should pay Lamar Jackson, let's talk about another Black man who views he's underpaid, Stephen A. Smith. While talking about how this is the first World Series where neither team has a African American on their roster since 1950 (Dusty Baker manages the Astros who has by my count 15 Latinos on their active roster while the Phillies have 5.), Stephen brought up that he's underpaid for all the work he does at ESPN.
At face value, it's easy to mock him because he makes $12 million a year. But when you think about it, compared to Joe Buck who signed a 5 year $75 million deal and Troy Aikman got $90 million to leave FOX for ESPN, he is a bit underpaid. Granted, ESPN was desperate to find someone good to call Monday Night Football considering the bums they had calling games since the Mike Tirico/Jon Gruden era. Having said that, they got Stephen A. everywhere talking football, basketball, boxing, baseball, hockey, tennis, golf, NASCAR, WWE, UFC and he even has his own segment! He's essentially the face of ESPN and honestly, is there any other ESPN personality people care about as much as Stephen? Is there any other personality who's as quotable or memeable or causes reactions over hot takes as much as him? No. Skip Bayless could hang with him but he's doing his thing with Shannon Sharpe and Lil Wayne on FS1.
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| BTW, Dusty Baker won his first World Series as a manager in his 25 year career and 3rd African American to do so. |
LAST WEEK 11-4
OVERALL 68-54-1
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