Last year, I went on a rant over the Bengals sitting back as the Football Team performed a Fatality on Joe Burrow so I didn't do a special Thanksgiving message thing. This year, I'm running late on things I need to do so I won't do a special message this time either. Hell, by the time you read this, the first game would be already over so let's get on to the picks.
THE GAMES
Chicago Bears 10
Detroit Lions 27
Last season, the Lions was freed from the clutches of Matt Patricia after losing on Thanksgiving to the Texans. This time, they can do the same to the Bears and get Matt Nagy out of town with a win. The Bears is in the same boat as the Lions. They both fired their decent Black coaches who the players liked in favor of hard asses/servants/Belichick guys who turned out to be shit. Someone should really point this out at the end of the season.
Las Vegas Raiders 34
Dallas Cowboys 37
While Henry Ruggs III is under house arrest over killing Tina Tintor and her dog in a car crash, Amari Cooper is getting bitched out over being unvaccinated. If only he got himself immunized.
Buffalo Bills 24
New Orleans Saints 26
Good news for those who don't like that the Lions and Cowboys play every Thanksgiving. This third game won't be pushed back to next Wednesday even if there is a Covid outbreak! In other Saints news, Marshon Lattimore got probation for his misdemeanor weapons charge and Taysom Hill got a new 4 year/$40 million extension that has unique incentives in case he becomes their starting QB. You know your coach believes in you when a utility man gets a contract with bonuses that can bump the total contract amount up to $95 million.
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 30
Indianapolis Colts 9
Breakout Colts RB Jonathan Taylor leads Pro Bowl voting with 81,087. I see fans don't really care about the Pro Bowl cause that's around how many votes my FB got in Madden 13 while my star QB would get 200,000 votes. Maybe they should've stuck with it being in game only.
New York Jets 7
Houston Texans 14
No Deshaun Watson news but their former RB Phillip Lindsey was picked up by Miami while the Jets former RB Frank Gore is scheduled to fight a basketball player. Oh, and Texans fans celebrated their win over the Titans in the rain with a blowjob.
Philadelphia Eagles 31
New York Giants 33
Jason Garrett got scapegoated but the main problems being the head coach and GM is still here. I don't know what to make of Danny Dimes. He's inconsistent but he has the potential to be like Eli Manning or better if he had better coaching by his side. When you have star players and a QB who is being held back by bad coaching, it's best to just clear house and start over.
Carolina Panthers 38
Miami Dolphins 10
Cam Newton may or may not be washed but he's absolutely not the future of the Panthers. In two three years, they still will need a long term solution at QB. If it's not Sam Darnold or XFL legend P.J. Walker, then who is it? Same for the Dolphins. Will it be Tua or someone else?
Tennessee Titans 27
New England Patriots 24
I watched the second half of Woburn Tanners vs Winchester Red & Black from Fenway Park. I know high schools play games on NFL fields and football games have been played at Fenway before. But high school football on a baseball field just caught me by surprise. I was also surprised by how many rap songs they played during the breaks in action. Especially since people keep saying how racist Boston is. Woburn won 26-22 with a TD in the final minute of the game. I think. It's mind boggling that we are one month away from the year two thousand twenty two and many football broadcasts still don't have basic things like a score bug. I don't expect it to be in depth like Sunday Night Football but just the score and time would be nice.
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| You can still see the infield outline. But at least it's not dirt. |
Pittsburgh Steelers 29
Cincinnati Bungles 6
Joe Burrow is thankful for surviving the season so far despite being tied with Lamar Jackson with 28 sacks and behind Ryan Tannehill and Justin Fields with 31 times sacked. I'm still gonna say fuck the Bengals for good measure. Fuck The Bengals.
Atlanta Falcons 23
Jacksonville Jaguars 17
Both teams are fairly even in how bad they are but the Falcons should get the W here.
Los Angeles Chargers 26
Denver Broncos 27
Chargers OL Michael Schofield made a Prison Break reference on SNF and that's all.
Los Angeles Rams 23
Green Bay Packers 31
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it when someone stick it to these team owners. Rams owner Stan Kroenke reached a $750 million dollar settlement with St. Louis over them moving to LA. According to the case details, St. Louis had a good chance of winning and being awarded $1 billion in damages. That money won't go to citizens but at least Kroenke's wallet is lighter. Also, Aaron Rodgers showed off his fractured toe to get people to shut up about it.
Minnesota Vikings 20
San Francisco 49ers 24
There were some troubling news involving Vikings DE Everson Griffen who called police saying someone was trying to pop him even though they didn't see any signs a intruder was there. They got him to leave his home so hopefully he get some help with his mental issues.
Cleveland Browns 30
Baltimore Ravens 20
What the hell is going on with the Browns? They went from a hot start to a hot mess in like two years. Baker Mayfield went from the savior of the team to being turned on by his (Black) teammates. I'm sure his commercial co-star didn't help matters when she shared a post that the rest of the team isn't as tough as him.
Seattle Seahawks 24
Washington Armada 31
This game isn't worth talking about. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
LAST WEEK 8-7
OVERALL 93-71-1
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