I was gonna talk shit about how the vast majority of XFL games are on cable, then I went to TitanTV. On ABC, Grey's Anatomy airs on Thursday night, NBA and NHL games on Saturday and NBA followed by American Idol on Sunday. So yeah, I see why they chose to air that programing on ABC instead of XFL games. It's still funny how they're calling themselves a major league when most of the country won't even know their games are on if they're not already watching ESPN(2) or FX. While in 2020, FOX showed games every week. Then they continued their commitment to spring football by airing games of the rebooted USFL last season.
I also could've talked shit about their basic bitch website but since I won't be able to actually watch a game till Week 6, I'm gonna save that rant for next week. I doubt they will add a stats tab by then and they sure as hell not gonna add headshots for all their players. Like goddamn, you could create a team just with St. Louis Battlehawk players who are missing a headshot. Hell, I probably would have to make a separate video for each team when I do the All No Photo Team at the end of the season. Especially since the Battlehawks has as many players without a photo as the entire USFL! But until then, here's the prognostications for Week 2.
THE GAMES
St. Louis Battlehawks 21
Seattle Sea Dragons 14
So the reason why A.J. McCarron is here on the Battlehawks is because he wants to play in front of his kids instead of ride an NFL bench. AWW! I honestly wasn't paying much attention to this Detroit Lions-Toledo Rockets matchup but A.J. used the XFL's 3 point conversion and 4 &15 onside rule to come back from being down 15-3 late in the game against the Brahmas. I refuse to believe in Ben DiNucci like I was bamboozled into with Cardale Jones so KAKAW!
D.C. Defenders 17
Vegas Vipers 9
Speaking of Cardale, his old team D.C. had a nice win over Seattle with former Battlehawk Jordan Ta'amu at the helm. I picked the Cincinnati Bearcats to win last week since Luis Perez turned the New York Guardians season around before the shutdown. I was wrong on that assessment. So I'll go with the Defenders to win again and for Martavis Bryant to do something.
San Antonio Brahmas 24
Orlando Guardians 10
That stinker against Houston proved Paxton Lynch is not someone who should be a starting QB. In fact, he's the first player to be benched in the NFL, CFL, USFL and XFL! That's...impressive really. He's good enough for teams to sign and start him thinking they can unlock his true potential. But he's not good enough to keep the job OR stay in the league! I feel that one ups Ryan Fitzpatrick's accomplishment of starting at QB for 9 different teams. At least Ryan stayed in the NFL for the entirety of his 17 year professional career. But Paxton, he bounced from top league to Canadian league to spring league to a different spring league. The XFL uses the IFL as their minor league so there's a chance he can get benched in indoor football. And after that, why not go international and get benched in Europe or Japan as well? With that said, I pick the Toledo Rockets to win because Paxton's backup wasn't much better in relief.
Arlington Renegades 24
Houston Roughnecks 27
I ragged on Orlando's ugly uniforms last week but Houston has a ugly ass helmet. Seriously, who the hell designed these uniforms? The 2020 uniforms look better than these crappy designs. They either look like a ripoff of a NFL or college team or they just look like they cared more about selling buzzwords than having a actual good looking uniform. And the 2001 XFL jerseys blows these teams out of the water in my opinion. I'll still pick the Renegades to continue their 3 year undefeated streak with a victory over the North Carolina Tar Heels though.
LAST WEEK 2-2
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