The XFL is back...again...again. But this time, it's under new ownership with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson buying it from his old boss Vince McMahon. He was a football player before getting into wrestling and he cut a couple promos for the original XFL in 2001 so he has some experience with the sport. Plus, with all the business ventures he's involved with, I see them actually completing the season this time like with the OG Xtreme Football League. Like with any other takeover in the business world, there were some changes from Vinny Mac's league.
The XFL got a (another) new logo that has your typical branding bullshit I'm not gonna bother to repeat. 5 teams returned with 2 of them getting a name change. Another 2 teams from the #XFL2020 era were relocated to another city. And the Brahma Bull replaces a team with his namesake. There's also timing, replay, timeout and coaching changes along with a new 4 and 15 option they're testing out only in the 4th quarter to replace the onside kick in the future. Plus, the Indoor Football League became their minor league. Arena Football League would never.
In 2020, games aired on both ESPN and FOX networks. Since FOX is funding their spring football competitor USFL, the XFL will exclusively be on Disney networks. That means most of the games will be on ESPN/ESPN2/FX while ABC only gets 7 games. I have no idea what paid programing could be so important to air on ABC that the majority of the XFL season is on cable. Maybe I will do a counterprograming thing next week but till then, let's get to the games.
THE GAMES
Vegas Vipers 24
Arlington Renegades 17
The Vipers relocated from Tampa while the Renegades are now honest about playing in Arlington instead of Dallas. Vegas was close to being a traveling team since they couldn't work out a stadium agreement with Allegiant Stadium (or a high school). So instead of buying Sam Boyd Stadium from UNLV, they settled for Cashman Field, which was a baseball stadium turned into a soccer stadium that originally hosted football games. Arlington knows all about playing in converted stadiums. Choctaw Stadium was a baseball stadium known as Globe Life Park, home of the Texas Rangers. Then they moved down the street and Six Flags moved in their corporate headquarters. It's also the XFL's "hub" where all the teams do their game prep like the USFL.
Like with last time, I won't have the simulation to lean on in making these predictions. I'm going off first impressions of the roster and coaching staff. Spring football legend Luis Perez is on the Vipers along with Brett Hundley, Martavis Bryant and Vic Beasley. Former New Orleans Breakers QB Kyle Sloter switched sides in the promotional war to join the Renegades. Bob Stoops is the only head coach to return to his team and man, he has his work cut out for him. The most notable players on his team is an RB who was cut from his USFL team for wanting pizza over chicken salad and the only punter I can think of who got flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct. I won't fall for the brand name coach again so give me Bryant having a big game.
Orlando Guardians 10
Houston Roughnecks 17
The Guardians moved from New York (East Rutherford, NJ) while the Roughnecks altered their logo to look more like a H and less like the Houston Oilers logo. Paxton Lynch is the only person I can pick out of a police lineup so we're already off to a bad start. Also, the Guardians have ugly ass jerseys. Just because the Seahawks and Oregon Ducks can get away with using neon and lime green doesn't mean you should use it as well. Especially if the previous incarnation of the team had a better color scheme. The black and red combo with grey looked great!
I guess Houston traded away their undefeated coach June Jones for Seattle's QB Brandon Silvers. That's the only explanation I have for why June didn't return to the Roughnecks. Instead, it's Wade Phillips as head coach. He's great as a defensive coordinator but is a mid head coach. No one on Orlando's roster impresses me so I guess I go with the Son of a Bum.
St. Louis Battlehawks 10
San Antonio Brahmas 21
The Battlehawks had the least number of changes to their logo while the Brahmas replaces the LA Wildcats (Ironic that the XFL owner's namesake team replaced a Los Angeles team considering the LA Xtreme was the XFL 2001 namesake team). Jonathan Hayes is another head coach who didn't return to the team this time around. Instead of coaching the BattleHawks, he's the offensive coordinator for the Renegades. But A.J McCarron is here. Maybe we will see his model wife Katherine Webb who Brett Musburger was thirsting over back in college.
The Brahmas coaches are far more famous than the players. Steelers legend Hines Ward is the head coach, and his old teammate Joey Porter is the linebackers coach. The only player I recognize is Jack Coan from the 2021-22 FBS Playoffs. He passed for 1,029 yds and 7 TDs in the tournament for Notre Dame. I'm not saying it's a work, but I can see San Antonio being a force this season. Can't have The People's Team go 2-8 and be a non-factor in the league.
Seattle Sea Dragons 7
D.C. Defenders 17
The Dragons added an unnecessary Sea to their name and logo that looks like the cartoon dragon in the Three-Headed Dragon meme. While the Defenders kept their name but got a new logo as well. The Sea Dragons also traded in a Jim (Zorn) for another (Haslett) so there's that. It's funny how they talk about how the XFL will focus on young players who didn't get a chance in the NFL when fucking Ben DiNucci is on Seattle's roster. Apparently, him and McCarron are the only QBs with NFL experience. Everybody else was at best on the practice squad.
DC has a couple notable QBs and neither of them are named Cardale Jones. D'Eriq King was a dual threat with Miami in the 2020-21 FBS Playoffs passing for 1,334 yards and running for 535 yards with 5 TDs. Another familiar face in the XFL and spring football in general is Jordan Ta'amu. He was a star on the BattleHawks, sucked on the Tampa Bay Bandits in the USFL and now finds himself back in the XFL but on a different team. Let's see can he get the magic back.
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