It was nice to see full stadiums of living breathing fleshy human beings instead of cardboard cutouts and empty seats with piped in fake crowd noise. It's the return of fans dressing up in elaborate costumes in their team's colors. It's the return of sewage water raining on fans during games. It's the return of fan fights. It's the return of Bills fans breaking tables at tailgates. Even though they're not as coordinated with chants as wrestling fans I still missed them.
THE GAMES
G-Men 14
FT-Men 23
In the first Thursday Night Football on NFL Network (ugh), Football Team will have to go without The Most Interesting Man In Football as Taylor Heinicke takes over for an injured Ryan Fitzpatrick due to a hip subluxation. Heinicke shown promise late last season and nearly led a comeback to beat the eventual Super Bowl champion Buccaneers. If would be a shame if Fitzpatrick's career came to an end due to injury but if their short time together helped Heinicke become a longtime starter in this league, that would just add to Harvard Man's legacy.
Dolphins' Bitch 10
New York Jets 6
What is it with the Patriots having difficulties in beating the Dolphins? Yeah it's something I'm only noticing these past few years but it just seems like their matchups are a tossup. Either it's a close game or a blowout. I don't see the Pats losing two games in a row to start the season.
Denver Broncos 21
Jacksonville Jaguars 9
It's only been one game and we already have drama in Duuuval. Since USC quickly fired their coach after two games, people have been speculating that Jags coach Urban Meyer will go back to college to accept the job. Of course he denied the rumors but history shows he denies being interested in going back to college coaching only to do eventually do it later on. Considering how he had Trevor Lawrence throw 51 passes and his temper towards players and assistants are rubbing people "the wrong way", fans would help pack his bags and ship him out right now.
Buffalo Bills 30
Patriot Slayers 7
As I look into the Pats-Phins rivalry, I'm surprised by how fairly even it is! They split the last 12 matchups and the Dolphins lead the series 58-54. Having said that, I expect the Bills to take out their frustration from last week on the Phins and continue the five game winning streak.
San Francisco 49ers 23
Philadelphia Eagles 13
Philly is coming off a dominant win while San Fran survived a late scare last week. Early on, the Niners seem to have the advantage but I feel this will be a close game. Unfortunately for them, they lose Raheem Mostert for the season due to a knee injury after just two carries.
Los Angeles Rams 48
Indianapolis Colts 17
Matthew Stafford looked like a brand new man last week now that he's on a team that's worth a shit. We know he can sling the ball but it gets overlooked due to being surrounded by garbage (and Calvin) on the Lions. Now that he's free, he might actually win a playoff game.
Las Vegas Raiders 27
Pittsburgh Steelers 31
That was a wild way to kick off Monday Night Football. So many twist and turns and premature celebrations and heartbreaking turnovers. What more could you ask for? Despite the commentators propping up Derek Carr, I don't see him as a top tier QB or winning this game. And after the rave reviews the Manning stream got, maybe I should watch it in full next time.
Cincinnati Bungles 42
Chicago Bears 19
Here are two teams that don't deserve the QBs that landed in their laps. The Bungles haven't double homicided Joe Burrow (yet) while Da Bears are doing this Platoon QB bullshit. I said it last season when the Dolphins did it with Tua and FitzMagic. If you have two QBs, you have no QBs. You don't trust either QB to win you games on a consistent basis so you swap them in and out to see how they do in the game. All this does is fuck up the development of the rookie QB. Either have Justin Fields ride the bench learning the playbook and getting a feel of the NFL system so he'll be ready to take over next season. Or start him now so he can get on the job experience. Don't have him throw two passes then yank him out so Andy Dalton can get back in. Neither QB can get a rhythm if they have to think about when they will be pulled for the other guy. I hope this team loses so Nagy gets fired and they bring in someone who isn't shit.
Houston Texans 27
Cleveland Browns 21
Tyrod Taylor had a nice game last week going 21/33 for 291 yards with 2 TDs against the Jags. It almost makes you forget that the Texans are paying Deshaun Watson to take a birthday vacation instead of trading or playing him. Tyrod won't cost you games but it remains to be seen how far can he take this team in the playoffs. Best of luck against your old team Tyrod!
New Orleans Saints 3
Carolina CGI Panthers 26
People were surprised by how easily the Saints handled the Packers. We knew there wouldn't be much drop off from the Saints after Drew Brees' retirement. We also figured the Packers would have some growing pains after all that offseason drama. But we didn't expect a blowout of that magnitude to happen against Aaron Rodgers! Anyway, people would probably be even more shocked if these same Saints get trampled by the Sam Darnold led Panthers.
Minnesota Vikings 24
Arizona Cardinals 14
Some players get their contract situation settled before they hit the field. Others do not. Fresh off of sacking Ryan Tannehill 5 times against the Titans, Chandler Jones says he's not focused on his contract status. With that effort, the Cards better pay him before his asking price increases.
Atlanta Falcons 34
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 30
Even though they escaped with a win thanks to Touchdown Tom, all those turnovers, penalties and a nonexistent running game is concerning. Yeah, they had the same problems last season but no matter how many times you call him GOAT and put him on Madden covers, it's not a good idea to have your 44 year old QB throw 50 times in a game despite his recent claims.
Tennessee Titans 20
Seattle Seahawks 17
That was a bad showing by the Titans last week. They got outworked in practically everything along with turning the ball over 3 times and giving up 6 sacks (5 to one guy). Maybe they will have better luck this week and show us that the events of last season wasn't a fluke.
Dallas Cowboys 16
LA Chargers 20
The Boys put in a good effort against the defending Super Bowl champions. If they play like this the rest of the season, they can win the NFC East with a winning record. The simulation on the other hand believes in the Chargers and takes them to win by 4 so I go with them this week.
Kansas City Chiefs 23
Baltimore Ravens 45
Lamar Jackson was ticked off about the fumble that set up the Raiders game winning overtime TD. Look for the Ravens to be extra motivated to beat the reigning AFC champs Chiefs.
Detroit Lions 20
Green Bay Packers 30
While I figure out how I'm gonna watch this game since it's not on ABC this time, the Lions might go ahead and pay Calvin Johnson that $1.6 million to make good with him. Or maybe Rodgers' work ethic will improve after taking that ass kicking last week.
LAST WEEK 9-7
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