If you're reading this, you seen Justin Tucker's NFL record 66 yard field
goal to win the game for the Ravens against the Lions. Everything that needed to be said about that kick has already been said. So I'm saying I want to see 50+ yard field goals count for four points instead of three. They did that in NFL Europe to appeal to Europeans who think of soccer when you say football. As you know, kicking a oblong ball is fucking hard so we should reward those who actually put the foot in football. And while we're at it, kickoffs that go through the uprights should be worth a bonus point. They did it in past arena leagues like the PIFL, AIFA and NIFL so why not here? Ravens been wanting it for awhile now and it brings meaning back to kickoffs that otherwise would go out the endzone for a touchback. Hell, put some more kickers and punters in the Pro FOOTball Hall Off Fame as well since they actually, y'know, KICK THE BALL!
THE GAMES
Jacksonville Jaguars 10
Cincinnati Bungles 21
It's the battle of No. 1 Overall Drafted QBs with Jags' Trevor Lawrence vs
Cin City's Joe Burrow. These poor QBs. Trevor is on a team that can't do
anything right with a coach who will hightail it back to college in 4, 5
years. While Joe is on a team that's giving people false hope about the
linemen protecting him. I don't care they
didn't give up a sack against the Steelers. The Bungles will probably do the same tonight
considering how
awful
the Jaguars defense is. Both teams are average at running the ball so far
so it will be up to the orange cats' defense to win this game.
Tennessee Titans 30
New York Jets
7
I hope Zach Wilson talks to Ryan Tannehill before the game to see how he
was able to recover from playing on a awful team. He doesn't have Adam
Gase as his coach but the Jets are playing like he is. And as the
sacks
keeps rising, it will get harder for him to climb out of this despair pit.
Kansas City Chiefs 34
Philadelphia Eagles 49
I'm glad to hear Andy Reid is
doing OK
after going to the hospital after the Chiefs game. As for the team itself,
I didn't know their defense was
THAT BAD! Last season, the key to beating the Chiefs was jumping on them early
due to their tendency to start slow. This year, teams have been in
shootouts with the Chiefs
taking advantage of their 30th rated defense all while trying to stay
ahead of their 6th ranked offense. The Eagles should lean on their 5th
ranked rushing to gash the defense, milk the clock and keep Patrick
Mahomes off the field for as long as they can.
Carolina Panthers 31
Dallas Cowboys 34
Christian McCaffrey's hamstring injury is huge but it won't be enough to
place him on injured reserve. The simulation believes the Panthers will become one dimensional and
the Cowboys defense will have another stellar day despite being
ranked 26th. The Panthers have the #1 defense but that's likely to fall
due to CB Jaycee Horn being out for the year with a broken foot.
New York Giants 15
New Orleans Saints 7
After Hurricane Ida and a fire on the Superdome's roof, the Saints can
finally
return home. It won't be much of a homecoming if the simulation is correct. I didn't realize the Saints' passing game was such a
weakness
until today. Jameis Winston has less passing yards than a guy who went
down two weeks ago and only 3 more yards than someone who made his first
start of the season last week. It's good he's not reckless with the ball
like before but when you thrown as many TDs as you been sacked (7), your
offense suffers from lack of production.
Cleveland Browns 31
Minnesota Vikings 23
The Vikings have a
pretty good offense
but as you would expect from a 1-2 team, their defense is a liability. The
Browns' 3rd ranked defense cancels out the Vikings offense so look to
their #7 offense to run the ball down the throats of the Vikings' #28 rated defense.
Detroit Lions 33
Chicago Bears 28
I said back in
Week 2 the Bears will fuck up Justin Fields' development and so far I'm
spot on with that assessment. Not only did the offense get
WORSE,
Justin got injured from the Browns
welcoming him to the league
by sacking him 9 times and
holding the Bears to one passing yard. How the hell you only record ONE
PASSING YARD in 2021 as starter QB? Fields
actually
threw for 68 yards (so close) but lost 67 in sacks so the team finished
with one measly yard passing. Now Matt Nagy has to
decide
who will start Sunday? Andy Dalton who's recovering from a knee bone
bruise, Fields who has a injured thumb or third stringer Big Dick Nick? I
would start the Super Bowl MVP and keep Fields on the bench for the rest
of the season. Hopefully Nagy and the GM will be long gone by the time the team moves
to
Arlington Heights.
 |
| WOOF! WOOF! Justin Fields will start...pray for him. WOOF! WOOF! |
Houston Texans 14
Buffalo Bills 10
While Deshaun Watson's girlfriend dropped a new
music video, the Texans will
open up the playbook
for David Mills and run it like they did when Tyrod Taylor was starting.
Ranking wise, the Texans are
outmatched
by the Bills so it will take a collective effort to stifle them enough to come away with a much needed win to go .500 and stay near the top of the AFC South.
Indianapolis Colts 47
Miami Dolphins 7
This game
isn't a blatant mismatch like Bills-Texans but the simulation has no faith
in the Dolphins making this competitive. And I don't blame it because this
team is just so BLEGH!
Washington Swifts 24
Atlanta Falcons 21
DE Chase Young was talking so much shit last year, especially when his
sorry ass team
matched up
against the Bucs in the Wildcard round. However,
this year
he haven't done shit. Him along with the rest of Football Team's defense
haven't lived up to expectations judging how they're the second worst unit
in the NFL. We will see can anybody outside of Cole Holcomb (32 tackles), Jonathan Allen
(3 sacks) and Montez Sweat (2)
harass
the Falcons' offensive offense.
Seattle Seahawks 35
San Francisco 49ers 16
I forgot to mention that last week was the 49ers first regular season home game since Santa Clara banned
football and kicked them out of the county last year. Anyways, I imagine the 49ers are still
shell shocked
from last week's loss so this should be a easy Seahawks
win.
Arizona Cardinals 20
Los Angeles Rams 21
Coming off
beating
the defending champions, the Rams face a equally stiff challenge in
another
Battle Of The Unbeatens,
this time vs the Cardinals. Both teams can sling the rock so defense will
play a big factor here. Look for the Rams to force a turnover late to give
their
freak show at QB a chance to drive down the field for a last second victory
and go 4-0 in the season.
Pittsburgh Steelers 20
Green Bay Packers 17
I haven't been watching Aaron Rodgers on Pat McAfee's show as much as I
would like but it looks like he's taking that time to
call out those
who criticized him during the (off)season. I'm all for it! If you don't
like it that people talk shit about you? Prove them wrong with your play
and make them look like idiots as you're on your way to another MVP
season. Having said that, the Steelers might get their second win of the
season here.
On paper, they don't have a chance but I don't see the Steelers making the same
mistakes the Niners made vs the Packers.
Baltimore Ravens 10
Denver Broncos 28
I'll say the Broncos is the most surprising undefeated team. People
thought Teddy Two Gloves was just a transitional QB to give them something
to put out there until they get their QB of the future but he led this
team to a 3-0 record. Of course, having the
#2 defense
doesn't hurt. Neither does feasting on
winless
teams. They will have difficulties corralling Lamar Jackson and his #4
offense so it's a good thing Teddy is up against a Ravens defense that's
ranked 24th.
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 10
New England Patriots 23
SNF has really been promoting this game heavily. I understand it's a
highly anticipated return of Tom Brady to Foxborough but the
promo package
made it look like a primetime drama. Brady said he's not gonna reminisce about his time there while
Josh McDaniels
and
Bill Belichick
had no problem talking him up. Maybe it's because they know how to beat
him (and Antonio Brown) and
signing
Richard Sherman won't make a difference in their game plan.
 |
| How it started How it's going |
Las Vegas Raiders 29
Los Angeles Chargers 52
I refuse to buy in on the Raiders and their
#1 offense. I'm not falling for the banana in the tailpipe! I just know that they will find a way to royally fuck up and faceplant late in the season.
LAST WEEK 9-7
OVERALL 28-20
No comments:
Post a Comment