THE GAMES
Detroit Lions 14
Green Bay Packers 25
The Packers look to get some revenge after the Lions beat them in the final game of the regular season keeping them out of the playoffs. Their rankings are not great, (especially for a 2-1 team) so they will need to play mistake free to stand a chance against the Brand New Lions.
Atlanta Falcons 3
Jacksonville Jaguars 6
This is the 1st international game of the season (UGH). They have 3 games in England and 2 in Germany keeping hope alive of a European division in the future. And if that doesn't pan out, they can always go to other countries like Japan, Brazil, Australia, France, China, Ghana, etc. The low score probably means that both teams were jet lagged or rain bogged down the real grass into a sloppy mess. Or they just wanted to put on a kicking contest for the soccer fans.
Miami Ducks 24
Buffalo Bills 29
The Dolphins will face stiffer competition against the Bills this week. Or should I say ACTUAL competition. Dropping 70 on the Broncos gave their rankings a nice boost but that 23rd ranked defense is a concern. They won't be able to break the will of the Bills 2nd ranked defense early in the game, so they need their defense to hold off their 7th ranked offense. Good luck with that!
Minnesota Vikings 37
Carolina Panthers 27
Both teams are 0-3. Someone has to win right? RIGHT?
Denver Buffaloes 10
Chicago Bears 43
The Bears had an eventful week and I forgot to add $100,000 worth of equipment was stolen from the stadium. Someone tore down a fence in Soldier Field's parking lot and took lawn mowers and other John Deere stuff. And if that wasn't depressing enough, Justin Fields is at a point in life where's he's just happy to wake up in the morning, IN WEEK 4!!! His team is 0-3, he's 2nd to last in passing rankings, he's been sacked 13 times but at least he's alive! Global warming haven't incinerated the planet yet. World War 3 haven't kicked off. Frogs aren't raining from the sky as the rapture begins. He could use a blowout win over Denver to cheer himself up.
Baltimore Ravens 10
Cleveland Browns 23
Another thing I forgot to add was Deshaun Watson being fined $35,513 in total over a gun celebration and 2 facemask penalties in his loss to the Steelers. Plus, the Browns are at a point where they hope he gets suspended so they can void his guaranteed contract. What a mess.
Pittsburgh Steelers 19
Houston Texans 28
The Texans got a surprising win over the Jags. Let's see can they make it 2 in a row.
Los Angeles Rams 20
Indianapolis Colts 13
Colts QB Anthony Richardson (and center Ryan Kelly) is still in concussion protocol but they expect him to return this week. But with their weak defense, it won't matter if he returns or not.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6
New Orleans Saints 10
Washington Commanders 30
Philadelphia Eagles 21
While Commanders QB Sam Howell was so beat up by the Bills he's grateful that "the sun'll come up tomorrow". You got dipshits like Chris Simms who is so butthurt that the Eagles are so good at the Tush Push, he says defenses should head hunt Jalen Hurts to stop him from doing it. Nothing says caring about player safety than trying to injure the QB on a sneak.
Cincinnati Bengals 14
Tennessee Titans 9
Joe Burrow played through his calf injury because he was more worried about going 0-3. Since he's only been sacked 5 times this season, I guess he's more willing to take chances like that.
Las Vegas Raiders 21
Los Angeles Chargers 38
WTF is up with these 2? Raiders QB Jimmy Garoppolo is in concussion protocol so either career backup Brian Hoyer or rookie Aidan O'Connell will play if he isn't cleared. Their DE Chandler Jones says he was taken to a mental health facility against his will by the LVFD. And their coach Josh McDaniels defended kicking a field goal late in the game instead of going for a TD and 2-point conversion because they needed "another possession anyway". He went against the analytics, so people got mad at him. Now he faces a coach who risked his job over it.
Chargers coach Brandon Staley defended his decision to go for it on 4th & 1 on their own 24-yard line with a 4-point lead late in the game. They didn't get it but their defense bailed them out with a game sealing interception to get their 1st win of the season. While pundits are calling for him to be fired, Staley will be without his star WR Mike Williams for the year due to a torn ACL. And if that's not annoying enough, his CB J.C. Jackson has a warrant for his arrest in Massachusetts over traffic crimes. My God these teams are such trainwrecks.
New England Patriots 6
Dallas Cowboys 19
Former QB Will Grier and RB Ezekiel Elliott returns to Arlington as the Pats square up with the Boys. There's no bad blood between the parties but Dallas could use a win after being embarrassed by the Cardinals. BTW, Mac Jones, stop hitting dudes in the dick. That's just rude.
Utah Buckeyes 16
San Francisco 49ers 41
Speaking of the Cardinals, they disrespected their starting QB Joshua Dobbs by not having him as a option when ordering jerseys at the team shop. They eventually added him to the list of available players but you know damn well they wasn't gonna bother to do it if his video didn't go viral. With that said, it's great he got his first win out the way because he's losing here.
Kansas City Swifties 41
New York Jets 3
Never mind Travis Kelce becoming relevant thanks to Taylor Swift, LOLJETS has returned! I agree that Zach Wilson is a bad QB BUT who the hell else you gonna put back there that would be an improvement? Tim Boyle isn't great. Newly signed practice squadder Trevor Siemian is mid. It's laughable Colin Kaepernick asks for a job every year when he compared NFL owners to slave owners. Their defense is not as good as I thought it was but I still feel a competent QB would do wonders for this team. Especially since they're dead last in passing.
Here's a short list of QBs that I feel would do better than Zach Wilson
- McLeod Bethel-Thompson - Free agent
- AJ McCarron - Bengals practice squad
- Alex McGough - Packers practice squad
- Luis Perez - Arlington Renegades
- Jordan Ta'amu - Free agent
- PJ Walker - Browns practice squad
Seattle Seahawks 35
New York Giants 10
Judging by their rankings, it looks more and more like last season was a fluke for the Giants.
LAST WEEK: 7-9
OVERALL: 27-21
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