Friday, June 18, 2021

I Feel Like Khloe Kardashian After Tristan Thompson Cheated On Her With The Thotourage™ While She Was Pregnant. XFL (Dos) Week 5 Preview

Side by side of Khloe Kardashian and Cleveland Cavaliers Tristan Thompson

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! Before the season, I didn't trust Cardale Jones because he didn't do anything in the NFL. So for Week 1, I said he was gonna lose and he put up a 16-26 passing 235 yards 2 TD day in a 31-19 win vs Seattle. Week 2, I still doubted him and he went 23 for 37 with 264 yards 2 TDs and 1 INT in a dominant 27-0 shutout of NY.

So for Week 3, I thought "Hey, maybe he isn't so bad after all!" I choose him to win this time because there's no way he could play so poorly he'd throw 4 INTs and lose by 30 against a winless team. But that's exactly what happened as he went 13-26 and 103 yards losing 39-9 to LA. Filled with shock and denial, I stood by Cardale making excuses that everyone has a bad game, even Tom Brady. So despite every warning sign imaginable, I took him back and chose him to bounce back against the other winless team and win. Instead, he got shutout 25-0 by Tampa Bay going for a pitiful 9-22 72 yards and a 1 INT.

I never been this invested in a player's performance before so maybe I was vulnerable to believing the DC hype. Well, I have grown these past 3 weeks and I will say NO MORE. I will no longer believe in the Defenders hype or get caught up in Cardale's numbers. I've been burned twice by him and my picks suffered making me 2-2 last week. I AM DONE!!!

THE GAMES


2020 XFL season week 5 Seattle Dragons vs Houston Roughnecks

SEATTLE DRAGONS            17
HOUSTON ROUGHNECKS   27

Houston was bailed out by Landry Jones throwing 3 INTs for Dallas. Despite a close game that shouldn't have been, they should take care of business against Seattle.

2020 XFL season week 5 New York Guardians vs Dallas Renegades
NY GUARDIANS                    21
DALLAS RENEGADES         24

This looks like a battle between former AAF starting QBs Luis Perez (Birmingham Iron) and Philip Nelson (San Diego Fleet). Both of them have done a nice job filling in for their injured teammates but I give the edge to Dallas here.

2020 XFL season week 5 St. Louis Battlehawks vs DC Defenders
ST. LOUIS BATTLEHAWKS 35
DC DEFENDERS                    3

I really wanted to put 77-0 as a fuck you to Cardale Jones, but I need to move on and stop dwelling on the past.

2020 XFL season week 5 Tampa Bay Vipers vs Los Angeles Wildcats
TAMPA BAY VIPERS            32
LA WILDCATS                      40

It seems that the 1-3 Vipers' 2 QBs = No QBs problem resolved itself with Taylor Cornelius as starter, Aaron Murray serving as backup and Quinton Flowers requesting a trade. While LA is second in the league in TDs (12), they also only have a 1-3 record to show for it. I feel this game will be a shootout with the Wildcats defense getting a late stop to preserve the win.

LAST WEEK 2-2
OVERALL 8-8

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