In case you didn't know, the Arena Football League was revived...again. They didn't even finish the week before it became a shitshow and the league once again reminds us that it's a total joke ran by dipshits who have no idea what the fuck they're doing. It's a pretty common situation in indoor football really. The standards is so low and any jackass with a couple hundred thousand bucks can start a team or buy the rights to a dead league that's still a recognized brand despite the literary of jack-legged shysters who turn the league into a laughingstock. As you can tell, I'm annoyed indoor football is rife with hoodwinkers, ne'er-do-wells and charlatans.
The NFL announced in March that they would air AFL games on NFL Network. It may not be ESPN or FOX but it's still a big deal to have game televised on the league's channel. Well, that didn't happen. Not only was none of the week 1 slate of games aired on NFLN, week 2 was scrapped from the schedule as well! And judging by their latest news post, they won't be on the network at all, so they have to settle for their own streaming service and Vyre Network.
As for the teams themselves, the Philadelphia Soul players were locked out of their motel due to unpaid bills and they had to call the police to get their stuff back. Those players didn't make the trip to Lafayette to play the Louisiana VooDoo so players and coaches from the American Arena League 2's Dallas Falcons took their place wearing the Soul uniforms. The boards, which are usually padded hockey boards, had to be held up by people because it looked like those plastic barricades you fill with water to keep them steady. The Oregon Blackbears' field wasn't much better since I don't even see the rebound net in this clip. While the Iowa Rampage straight up folded (It was stupid anyway) leaving them with 15 teams of varying arena quality. Or not?
In a perfect world, a billionaire (me) would create the Arena Football Federation where I consolidate all these arena leagues and teams into a separate yet equal system. The AFL would be a 16-team league with all the older teams that have existed for at least a decade or play in a 10,000+ seat arena. The IFL would have the younger teams that popped up or play in smaller arenas. They will keep their separate rules and all owners will have to prove they can actually support a team either by themselves or as a group. Finally, the AFL and IFL champions would play each other for the AFF championship and $10 million. In this new conglomerate, stability would be my main focus as I keep out all the rift raft that plagues indoor football.
THE GAMES
Birmingham Stallions 28
Memphis Showboats 16
Former Stallions QB Alex McGough was switched to WR after the Packers drafted Michael Pratt in the 7th round out of Tulane. He never played receiver as far as I know but he was a scout team TE when he collided with CB Jaire Alexander injuring the star defender's back last season. This seems like the last shot Alex has at making the 53-man roster on a NFL team since he's 28 and never played in a regular season game. If that's so, I would imagine the UFL would welcome back the 2X USFL champion with open arms. Lord knows multiple teams could use his services right now. But not Birmingham, they're still undefeated sticking with their 2 QB system.
Houston Roughnecks 13
St. Louis Battlehawks 30
The Battlehawks definitely don't need McGough since they have A.J. McCarron. Especially after that ass beating they handed D.C. where A.J. went 14-24 for 213 yards and 2 TDs. Of course, Defenders QB Jordan Ta'amu made it easier for St. Louis since he threw 3 INTs and fumbled the ball in that 45-12 blowout. Houston wasn't much better when they got bitch slapped by the Stallions 32-9. The Houston Cougars fighting the NFL is more entertaining than them.
Arlington Renegades 10
Michigan Panthers 17
The Renegades are winless yet Luis Perez leads the league in passing yards with 1,150. He also thrown 6 TDs, just 2 INTs and has been sacked 9 times so you can't blame him for their failures. They rank at the bottom of the league defensively so that's probably why the defending XFL champs are likely to miss the playoffs entirely. As for Michigan, thank you for beating Memphis. It allowed me to go 4-0 for the 2nd time this season boosting up my overall to 14-6!
San Antonio Brahmas 25
D.C. Defenders 27
Seriously, Luis looked like he was crying on the bench after the loss. They broken this man. :(
LAST WEEK: 4-0
OVERALL: 14-6
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