Thursday, November 9, 2023

[Insert Nonsensical Rambling Here] NFL Week 10 Preview

Football team vs demon boss.

Yeah, I got nothing to put here so here's some quick hits of randomness by me.
  • ChatGPT is FAR better than Google Bard and Microsoft Bing Copilot combined.
  • New Japan wrestlers are not draws to people outside of the wrestling bubble.
  • It's a crime how badly Miro, Powerhouse Hobbs, MJF, etc. are used in AEW.
  • If you keep buying a video game that you know you will hate, you are an idiot.
  • EA is so lazy, features from a 20-year-old game is far too advanced for this year's Madden. Face sculpting? Create a team? Cheerleaders? What is this sorcery!
  • Big fake butts are disgusting and bolt on breasts are not much better.
  • Don't waste your time talking to women who have a huge list of things they want in a man. Especially if she brings nothing to the table aside from being attractive.
  • If I was a billionaire, I would run a softball, wrestling, racing and volleyball league.
  • Disney will never go broke from going woke but it's fun to laugh at their flops.
  • Election Day should be a federal holiday.

THE GAMES


2023 NFL season week 10 Carolina Panthers vs Chicago Bears

Carolina Panthers  12
Chicago Bears       19

I haven't watched a Thursday night game this season. That is all.


2023 NFL season week 10 Indianapolis Colts vs New England Patriots
Indianapolis Colts           3
New England Patriots   26

I thought Bill Belichick had a job for life with the Patriots (or at least until he breaks the record for career wins). But it looks like he better win more games or Robert Kraft is gonna fire his ass.


2023 NFL season week 10 Cleveland Browns vs Baltimore Ravens
Cleveland Browns    3
Baltimore Ravens   28

If the Browns had Texans Deshaun Watson, they would be feared across the league. 


2023 NFL season week 10 Houston Texans vs Cincinnati Bengals
Houston Texans       27
Cincinnati Bengals    3

Speaking of the Texans, they made some history in their shootout win over the Bucs. C.J. Stroud broke Andrew Luck's record of passing yards in a game by a rookie with 470 yards. He became the first rookie QB to pass for 4+ TDs, 400+ yards and no INTs in a game. He's also the youngest QB at 22 years and 33 days old to pass for at least 5 TDs and 400 yards. Not wanting to feel left out, their RB Dare Ogunbowale took over for their injured kicker Ka'imi Fairbairn to kick the game winning 29-yard field goal. He was the first non-kicker/punter to attempt an FG since Wes Welker in 2004 for the Dolphins and the first RB since Saints Tony Galbreath in 1979.

Now, you would think someone whose job is literally to kick the ball would replace Fairbairn instead of a 4th string RB. Turns out that kicking and punting have become so specialized, they can't do the other's job so easily, especially if you're an Australian who played their version of football. Most kickers come from a soccer background, so they're used to kicking balls off the ground. But Cameron Johnston comes from a rugby background so he's not that good at it compared to Dare. I guess that's why people went nuts over Matt Araiza who did both.


2023 NFL season week 10 San Francisco 49ers vs Jacksonville Jaguars
San Francisco 49ers    12
Jacksonville Jaguars   20

For the love of God Tony, turn Rampage into the women's show and Collision the Miro show!


2023 NFL season week 10 New Orleans Saints vs Minnesota Vikings
New Orleans Saints   14
Minnesota Vikings     18

The forces of the universe agreed with me as Joshua Dobbs will be the Vikings starter thanks to passing 20/30 for 158 yards and 2 TDs as he overcame his 2 fumbles to beat the Falcons.


2023 NFL season week 10 Green Bay Packers vs Pittsburgh Steelers
Green Bay Packers  19
Pittsburgh Steelers    7

The Steelers are a mess. How the hell is this team 5-3?


2023 NFL season week 10 Tennessee Titans vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tennessee Titans             27
Tampa Bay Buccaneers   28

Despite losing to the aforementioned Steelers, Will Levis earned the permanent starting QB gig over Ryan Tannehill. The passing game is a clear weakness so a change was bound to happen.


2023 NFL season week 10 Atlanta Falcons vs Arizona Cardinals
Atlanta Falcons   24
Utah Buckeyes    13

With Josh Dobbs gone, Kyler Murray is free to run around like a chicken with its head cut off.


2023 NFL season week 10 Detroit Lions vs Los Angeles Chargers
Detroit Lions                   36
Los Angeles Chargers   23

Get ready to see some big gaping holes and big bumps as the Lions O-line is fully healthy!


2023 NFL season week 10 New York Giants vs Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants   0
Dallas Cowboys  40

Due to Tyrod Taylor recovering from a rib injury that sent him to the hospital (he just can't catch a break) and a torn ACL putting Daniel Jones out for the season, the Giants will start rookie QB Tommy DeVito with Matt Barkley as his backup. This won't be a good day in the office for them.


2023 NFL season week 10 Washington Commanders vs Seattle Seahawks
Washington Commanders  35
Seattle Seahawks                10

Former Commie Carson Wentz is now backing up Matthew Stafford on the Rams as they waived Brett Rypien. Sean McVay rehabbed Baker Mayfield back to being a starting QB so maybe he can do it again with Wentz. As for Rypien, he could go work for Polynesian football HOFer The Rock in the UXFL or is it the XSFL? Whatever the combined league is, he can go there.


2023 NFL season week 10 New York Jets vs Las Vegas Raiders
New York Jets            3
Las Vegas Raiders   31

Jets coach Robert Salah says it's lazy to blame Zach Wilson for why their offense sucks. I agree, but that won't stop me from saying he should join Rypien in the UFL next spring.


2023 NFL season week 10 Denver Broncos vs Buffalo Bills
Denver Broncos  14
Buffalo Bills         20

Speaking of lazy, here's to another late post that's disguised as on time.


LAST WEEK:   9-5
OVERALL:     74-62

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