Barring any other site updates, this should be the last time I complain about XFL.com. I like to think that some intern saw my post and made the changes to a respectable condition. It's still lackluster compared to the NFL though. There're no player profiles, there's still missing headshots and the news section is pointless. If you're reading this webmaster, you're welcome!
THE GAMES
Houston Roughnecks 28
Orlando Guardians 3
Another game, another L for the Guardians. At least the game was close this time but those 2 fumbles by their RB Jah-Maine Martin really fucked them royally. Of course, having Paxton Lynch as your QB sure as hell doesn't help your chances of winning either. So, while they still have Quinten Dormady on their roster, they signed another QB with a similar first name, former Tampa Bay Viper Quinton Flowers. They were running a 2 QB system so they sucked ass. I don't know if he will start but it won't really matter since the Roughnecks will blow them out.
San Antonio Brahmas 17
Seattle Sea Dragons 24
This game was closer than it had any right to be. The Roughnecks was running away with it at first then their offense petered out allowing the Brahmas to finish the game down a score. Compare that to the Sea Dragons who didn't really do much up to the 3rd quarter but finally turned it on and pulled off a late comeback win over the Vipers. Ben DiNucci looked like an NFL starter passing against practice squadders with his 29/37 for 377 yards and 4 TDs with an INT performance. While Josh Gordon actually did something catching 6 balls for 118 yards and 2 TDs. I'm still not too sold on this team, but I feel they're better than the Brahmas at this point.
Arlington Renegades 23
St. Louis Battlehawks 31
I wish STL-D.C. was on TV because I missed a scuffle at the end of the game. Battlehawks QB A.J. McCarron got sacked on the 4th & 15 onside play that dashed their chance of getting the ball back. He got hit in the head as he's being tackled but it didn't get called. As we see him look around for a flag, Battlehawks and Defenders players got into a big pileup (along with a tossed helmet!) as the commentators cried over the players getting into it with each other saying the XFL is supposed to be positive and all that PR jargon bullshit. There was still 16 seconds left on the clock so they had to separate the teams, eject 3 players, then spot the ball. Unsurprisingly, St. Louis acted like Schiano Men and attacked the kneel down in retaliation.
The D.C. fans loved it because they're finally seeing winning football again in the nation's capital and they got their beer snake back after security took it away from them in week 1. Which led to fans throwing lemons onto the field in protest. It's a tradition from all the way back to 2020 where fans put their empty beer cups together to form a snake from the bottom of the stands to the top. You would think this would be a Tampa Bay/Vegas Vipers thing but the Bucs/Raiders fanbase isn't as angry with their owner as the Commanders fans are. Thats also why they chanted "FUCK DAN SNYDER!" during games. Can't wait to watch next week's online highlights!
Vegas Vipers 6
D.C. Defenders 27
Last time it was the rain, this time it was the wind affecting the game. The field still looked like crap with tire tracks and the baseball outline still visible under the field. It was so bad, Pat McAfee dumped on the playing conditions in Vegas and the XFL's kickoff rule. I'm with Pat, I don't like the kickoff rule but it will eventually make its way to the NFL along with the conversion rule because the NFL, the media and football fans in general hate kickers. They support taking the foot out of football in the "interest of safety". Never mind the extra games, playing 2 games in a week, still only 1 bye week in the season and a culture of playing through injuries.
As for D.C., Jordan Ta'amu had a better showing with 218 total yards and 2 TDs with D'Eriq King pitching in 23 yards and a TD. But this game shouldn't have been this close either. 3 turnovers by the Defenders kept the Battlehawks in this game and even gave them the chance to win it at the end. But D.C.'s defense stopped them to pull off the win. D.C. shouldn't have much trouble beating these basement snakes so this will probably be another blowout this week.
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| You can tell how old this is by the fact they're using goddamn Emmit Smith in their meme. But unfortunately, it looks like those soccer fans will be justified in calling football handegg in 10 years as the NFL, XFL and other leagues take the foot out of football. No kickoffs. No field goals. No PATs. No onside kick. No punting. RIP real football. :( |
LAST WEEK 2-2
OVERALL 8-4
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