This Is Why I Don't Gamble. NFL Week 2 Preview

Last season, I predicted the Texans would only score 5 points in their game against the Cardinals. I've been doing good with my picks the past 2 seasons so fuck it, why not bet on sports? Going 4-11-1 last week is why my dumbass shouldn't gamble at all! I should stick with free picks contests because I have no business wagering any real money on these games.

THE GAMES

Los Angeles Chargers   20

Kansas City Chiefs        13

It's the first Prime Video Thursday Night Football of the season. I already have Amazon Prime so I wasn't that upset when it was announced that Amazon got the rights to the TNF games. Now, if it went to some other streaming service like Hulu, Apple+, Paramount+, Netflix, etc, I would've been pissed. I'm spoiled as a football fan because the NFL is the only sports league where every week from preseason to the championship game, there's games available on regular TV.

No other league does that. Either:

• The preseason games don't get televised or non national games are on regional networks.
• Nationally televised games don't start until Christmas.
• Most of the playoffs are on cable.

I appreciate that the NFL keeps most of their games OTA but I fear more games will become streaming exclusives. Then they will worm their way into the playoffs where you can only watch wildcard games on NFL+! God the future sucks.   

Miami Dolphins      27

Baltimore Ravens   7

The Dolphins always gives the Patriots problems in their games. Too bad I didn't pick them to win. I'm picking them to win against the Ravens but I might be overconfident in their abilities.

New York Jets          31

Cleveland Browns   24

The Browns debuted their new midfield logo and it's an elf giving a stiff arm while holding the football like a loaf of bread. I know that Brownie is a alternative logo and has been a part of the team since the beginning. I get this was a fan poll but I'm surprise the dog wasn't a option considering they call their fan section the Dawg Pound.

Washington Iron   34

Detroit Lions         10

How little faith do people have in Carson Wentz if the goddamn KNEEBITERS are favored to win against them! With a spread of -1.5, a money line of -133 and a under of 48.5 according to Fox Bet, this is the first time they're favored to win in 24 games since that 2020 Thanksgiving loss to the Texans. After watching his 313 Yds/4 TD/2 INT day, I see why Colts fans wanted him gone.

Indianapolis Colts         30

Jacksonville Jaguars    31

Speaking of Indy, how the hell you gonna tie in the FIRST GAME of the season? I went on a rant last season about how pussified the NFL is for getting rid of sudden death overtime just because some bitch ass people complained that kickers are "too good" to allow them to end the game after the coin toss. Ironic considering the Colts fired their kicker Rodrigo Blankenship for missing the game winner. Man, the infatuation for him and his glasses worn off quickly.

And I have to say, kickers are the most scapegoated players in football. Anytime they miss a field goal, everybody buries them and they risk getting fired. While QBs can throw 4 INTs, receivers can drop passes and DBs can blow coverage and it's just a bad day for them. 

Tompa Bay Buccaneers   13

New Orleans Saints          30

I forgot last week was a battle between Famous Jameis and Marcus Mariota, the number 1 and 2 picks of the 2015 NFL Draft. People said that Marcus would be a better QB...that didn't happen. Instead, this choke job happened where the Falcons had a 97.1% win probability and still lost. You can change the players and coaches but this team is still infected with Chokervirus

Carolina Panthers   27

New York Giants     21

That revenge game didn't go too well for ole Baker. He had a decent day going 16/27 for 235 yards, a TD and a INT along with a rushing TD. Maybe they will bounce back against a aggressive Giants squad who would rather go for the win than settle for OT (I like this coach!).

New England Patriots   41

Pittsburgh Steelers       37

Speaking of bouncing back, maybe the Pats will bounce back against the Steelers who will be missing T.J. Watt for 6 weeks to a torn pectoral. That's if Mac Jones recovers from his ailments.

Atlanta Falcons        38

Los Angeles Rams   24

The Rams got a rude wakeup call that teams are not scared of them. And thanks to the smacketh down the Bills layeth on their candyasses, everyone now knows how to beat them. I will be gobsmacked if the Falcons beat the Rams like the Jets did 2 years ago.

There's no vaccine for Chokid-16

Seattle Seahawks        14

San Francisco 49ers   24

Geno Smith played a nice game in front of Joe & Troy on MNF. Their defense did well forcing 2 fumbles and keeping the Broncos out of the endzone on multiple redzone trips. The predictor machine says they was simply amped up for facing Russell Wilson and will come down from that high against the Niners. That and they lose Jamal Adams for the year with a torn quad.

Cincinnati Bengals  10

Dallas Cowboys        6

I was ready to post a Family Guy meme when I heard Dak Prescott will miss time with a broken thumb but seeing how trash their backups are, Jerry Jones is gonna rush him to return next month. The reason he got that big payday is because this team is garbage without him. For God's sake, they couldn't even win a division where no one won 8 games! So yeah, WHO DEY!

Houston Texans   21

Denver Broncos   30

Lovie Smith starting the season with a tie is funny but the brain fart the Broncos had at the end of their Monday night game was hilarious. I don't care if my kicker could kick a 85 yarder without wind assistance. I'm not gonna trot him out there to kick the second longest field goal in NFL history when I'm paying my new QB $245 million! Stay your ass out there Russ and get that 1st down! So coach, what do you have to say for yourself?

Yeah? NO SHIT! I'm just a rando with a blog and even I know he should've went for it.

Arizona Cardinals    19

Las Vegas Raiders   17

Davante Adams had more yards by himself than the Packers entire receiving corps. YIKES!

Chicago Bears           30

Green Bay Packers   10

So yeah, the Packers got bums catching the ball but it's too early to write them off completely. However, a loss here against a hated rival would be a crushing blow to cheeseheads.

Tennessee Titans   17

Buffalo Bills            31

I don't like the Titans chances here.

Minnesota Vikings      16

Philadelphia Eagles    35

I should really stop bullshitting and get these posts out on time. Go with Philly here.

LAST WEEK 4-11-1