After years of players half-assing the Pro Bowl, the NFL will replace it with the Pro Bowl (Games). Players understandably didn't play full out in this meaningless exhibition full contact game because they didn't want to get hurt. And the fact that the league put it before the Super Bowl and took it out of Hawaii made it less special to fans and pointless to players. Before, they jumped at the chance to play in the Pro Bowl because they get to spend a week in Hawaii. Since the move, they took any chance they could to skip it because there's nothing special about Orlando or any of these other places that hosted it. Because the NFL is always on their bullshit, they will force players to attend this meaningless exhibition flag football game. Keep in mind, it's 7 on 7 so linemen won't even play in the game but are still required to be there and clap their hands on the sideline I guess. I assume kickers and punters won't do much either in Vegas.
THE GAMES
Miami Dolphins 28
Cincinnati Bengals 13
When Tua bonked his head and stumbled when getting off the field, everybody thought he had a concussion and was done for the game. So when he came back into the game, a lot of people thought the Dolphins ignored the concussion protocols and trotted out this player who clearly has a head injury so they can remain undefeated. Turns out he only has a back/ankle injury. Well the NFLPA isn't buying the whole "back locking up" story and launched a investigation into it even though the NFL says the protocols were followed and the doctors cleared him. All that drama almost makes you forget about the Butt Punt seen round the world. Also their practice at University of Cincinnati was recorded but they was running CFL formations so it was fine.
Minnesota Vikings 3
New Orleans Saints 27
Speaking of butts, Dalvin Cook had his on Buttfumble and to add injury to insult, he dislocated his shoulder on the play! Neither he nor a banged up Jameis Winston will have much recovery time as they fly to London for the first international game of the season (Ugh).
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| WOOF! WOOF! Andy Dalton will start at QB for the Saints! WOOF! WOOF! |
Cleveland Browns 7
Atlanta Falcons 48
With Jacoby Brissett, the Browns are 5th in offense (27th in passing, 1st in rushing). He's not expected to sling the ball 40 times a game when they can lean on their running game. They're actually similar to the Falcons ratings wise so I don't know where this blowout prediction came from. In other news, Myles Garrett is OK after flipping his car but was cited for speeding.
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| You're not missing much by not playing Madden Jacoby. |
Buffalo Bills 16
Baltimore Ravens 20
Sunday wasn't a fun day for the Bills of Orchard Park. Josh Allen bobbled the snap costing them the chance to spike the ball and kick a field goal before halftime. Dolphins DE Christian Wilkins grabbed his dick at the bottom of the pile (Josh got flagged for retaliating). Josh then short hopped a 4th down pass that would've gave them the late lead. Then after the Ass Safety, the Bills ran out of time which led to Bills offensive coordinator Ken Dorsey losing his shit in the booth. He was remorseful afterwards and I guess that hand covering the camera kept him from getting fined for destroying NFL property. Or maybe they only care about tablets.
Washington Apollos 7
Dallas Cowboys 34
I don't expect a QB controversy but Cooper Rush might start for another team next season.
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| RIP Gavin Escobar |
Seattle Seahawks 24
Detroit Lions 20
The Lions are 3rd in offense, defense AND rushing but that 16th ranked passing drags them down to a 1-2 record. They're better than last season but that's not really saying much.
Los Angeles Chargers 14
Houston Texans 9
The Chargers defense is mid and losing Joey Bosa to a groin injury is gonna hurt. Good thing they're playing the winless Texans, who did fuck up the Bolts playoff chances last season.
Tennessee Titans 30
Indianapolis Colts 7
I was wondering why the Titans are 1-2 and I looked at their rankings. Yikes that's bad! There's plenty of time to turn things around, just take it one game at a time, starting with the Colts.
Chicago Bears 3
New York Giants 31
The Giants broke Eli Manning's heart with a late interception on MNF but Sterling Shepard tearing his ACL just jogging down the field broke Giants fans hearts. Which led to people demanding the NFL replace the fake grass with real grass like they have in soccer leagues. Good luck with that! Yeah, the owners have the money to install real grass regardless of the climate and stadium design but I assume the ones who use turf prefer it due to low maintenance. Turf is prettier than grass, doesn't get torn up when hosting concerts, you don't have to worry about puddles all over the field or mud and it's a more consistent surface that will stay the same year round. So I don't see the 14(?) stadiums changing to real grass anytime soon.
Jacksonville Jaguars 10
Philadelphia Eagles 21
The Jaguars are doing good and Trevor Lawrence was AFC Offensive Player of the Week. It will be a shame to see the Eagles bring him and their old coach back down to reality.
New York Jets 24
Pittsburgh Steelers 27
I'm not excited that Zach Is Back. Joe Flacco is by no means a long term option at QB but maybe Zach could stand to spend the rest of the year learning from the bench so he doesn't get ruined by this dysfunctional team that gets no help whatsoever from their defense or run game.
Arizona Cardinals 30
Carolina Panthers 33
Wow, Baker Mayfield is garbage on the Panthers! He only has 36 more passing yards and 1 more TD than Dallas' backup. Sure, being in a 4 way tie for 7th in times sacked with 9 doesn't help but with a 14th ranked defense and rush, he's gotta step it up against the #1 defense.
New England Patriots 21
Green Bay Packers 16
Mac Jones is likely out due to a ankle injury so Brian Hoyer and their defense will have to step it up against the 9th ranked defense. Also don't do anything that will tip off Aaron Rodgers.
Denver Broncos 16
Las Vegas Raiders 17
Kansas City Chiefs 20
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 6
Hurricane Ian was expected to hit Tampa directly so the NFL planned to move the SNF game to Minnesota. Since the hurricane made landfall to the south of it leaving the city mostly unscathed, the game will be played in Tampa Bay after all. The Bucs owners, the Glazer family, will donate $1 million in relief efforts for those affected in Southwest Florida. Also, I'm starting to see why Eric Bieniemy isn't a head coach despite the interception and failed fake field goal.
Los Angeles Rams 13
San Francisco 49ers 24
I should really stop waiting so long to post these. Congrats Aaron Donald for 100 sacks!
LAST WEEK 7-9
OVERALL 20-27-1
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