Maybe I'm being dramatic but I believe this is the most movement among players, coaches AND announcers ever! Russell Wilson to the Broncos. Josh McDaniels takes over as Raiders head coach. Troy Aikman leaves FOX to do MNF on ESPN and Joe Buck got a early release from his contract to join him! Not to mention Al Michaels FINALLY leaves SNF play by play duties for Mike Trico so he can do TNF on Amazon with ESPN's College Gameday analyst Kirk Herbstreit. There are plenty of more moves but I'm inexplicably running late so here's the games.
THE GAMES
Buffalo Bills 13
LA Rams 34
We kick off the NFL season with the defending world champs hosting a potential AFC powerhouse for years to come. The Bills star players like Josh Allen and Dawson Knox got huge paydays and they boosted their defense with the addition of Von Miller. Despite all that, this should be a comfortable victory for the Rams. Oh and Emmanuel Sanders retired. Good for him!
New Orleans Saints 24
Atlanta Falcons 10
If Jameis Winston can stay healthy and continue to limit the turnovers like last season before the knee injury, the Saints will have a promising season. Especially since Michael Thomas is back and Tyrann Mathieu is here as well. I'm not thrilled Dennis Allen is coach but it is what it is.
Cleveland Browns 10
Carolina Panthers 22
Baker Mayfield starts the season against the team that dumped him after he brought them their first playoff win in a long ass time. What a coincidence! He gave a more diplomatic response to how he's gonna treat the game compared to when a reporter said he's gonna fuck them up. Since Deshaun Watson is suspended for 11 games, Baker should get a easy win here.
San Francisco 49ers 35
Chicago Bears 30
This is a awkward situation the 49ers put themselves in. Everyone, including Jimmy himself, expected Garoppolo to be gone this season as Trey Lance takes over as starter. Well, not many teams wanted him so ended up resigning...as a backup. At first, the QBs was chill about this situation but reports came out that Trey wasn't to thrilled about last year's starter still being on the team. He better ball out cause fans will get loud with Jimmy G chants if he struggles early. In other news, the NFL will have a second team in Arlington once the Bears move to a new stadium in Arlington Heights, IL. So will games against the Cowboys be called the Arlington Bowl?
Pittsburgh Steelers 3
Cincinnati Bengals 33
Was last year a fluke? There's only one way to find out! Judging by this prediction, the Bengals are legit while the Steelers will be shit with Mitchel Trubisky starting as Kenny Pickett learns from the bench. I would've preferred to start Mason Rudolph but it doesn't really matter anyway.
Philadelphia Eagles 30
Detroit Lions 21
People are really rooting for the Lions this season. They're the loveable losers of the NFL with a knee biting coach providing fodder for the sports media. I wonder how many more losses it will take before people start to turn on Dan Campbell when he shows he's all talk but no bite.
Indianapolis Colts 20
Houston Texans 27
Colts fans are ecstatic Matt Ryan is their new QB. Honestly, anybody would be a improvement over Carson Wentz. While Texans fans are ecstatic that the massage aficionado is gone. So who will be Lovie Smith's starting QB in his return to NFL coaching? Davis Mills? OOF! Their other QBs aren't much better so like I said before, Lovie will have his work cut out for him. At least fans have red helmets and a connection to the Uvalde football team as a positive.
New England Patriots 23
Miami Dolphins 16
The Dolphins always seem to give the Patriots fits whenever they play and squeak out shocking wins. They're not gonna do it now but with a coach who actually believes in him for a change along with a star WR in Tyreek Hill, Tua should put up his career best numbers this season.
Baltimore Ravens 17
New York Jets 20
Here's a revenge game that doesn't get talked about much. Due to Zach Wilson's knee issues, Joe Flacco will start the season against his old team as well. Apparently, this will only be the 2nd time a QB starts the season against the team he won a Super Bowl with. While his successor Lamar Jackson set tomorrow as the deadline to get his new deal done. I get they don't want to pay him Deshaun Watson money but they would be crazy to drag this out any further.
All Elite Jaguars 35
Washington Legends 17
I could talk out my ass about this game, or I could share my reaction to all the AEW drama between CM Punk and The Elite. After the All Out PPV, Punk shitted on the EVPs and their friends about how unprofessional they are spreading rumors that he got Colt Cabana fired and Hangman Adam Page going into business for himself on a promo during their angle. He also called out the wrestling media for kissing their asses and being stooges to them.
Well, Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks didn't like that and barged into Punk's locker room like Triple H and Ric Flair in Day of Reckoning. Good thing his friend Ace Steel made the save and threw a chair at Nick Jackson and bit and pulled Omega's hair while the other Buck Matt Jackson got punched by Punk. They had a pull apart with security and cops involved and their belts have been stripped by Tony Khan. I imagine they got their highest ratings from people tuning in to see would they address the situation. It's too bad they probably won't be professional enough to work together and make a angle out of it like the Edge/Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle.
New York Giants 13
Tennessee Titans 15
It's a team that is unsure if their starter is a franchise QB vs a team who may have drafted their franchise QB. We will see can FVB Sports legend Tyrod Taylor push Daniel Jones to up his game and prove to people that he can at least perform to the level of Eli Manning. While Ryan Tannehill's time with the Titans may be coming to a close depending on how he performs on the field and Malik Willis performs in practice. I will always prefer a rookie spend a couple years on the bench learning from the vet than starting as a rookie. With a offense that revolves around Derrick Henry, there's no need to act right now but I would be lying if I said Malik isn't projected to be the starter sometime in the future. Best of luck to both teams' QBs!
Kansas City Chiefs 31
Arizona Cardinals 30
It's a shame the Cardinals pussed out when it got out that they added a clause to Kyler Murray's contract that he had to study 4 hours of film. Granted, he's a great player and it's amazing that he can play at that level without watching that much film according to the organization. But we know that this team tends to start off hot at the beginning of the season only to shit itself at the end. They had to have put that in there at first because they thought he wasn't watching enough film. They're not gonna add that just to fuck with him. That would be stupid. So it's clear that it's a issue but not enough apparently to stick to their guns when he criticized it.
Las Vegas Raiders 20
Los Angeles Chargers 37
What a coinkydink! It's a rematch of last season's finale where if these teams tied, both teams gets in the playoffs and the Mike Tomlin's playoff streak ends. Instead, analytics aficionado Brandon Staley costed his team by calling a time out when the Raiders was trying to run out the clock in overtime. They got the first down then kicked a game winning field goal. They're not focused on that blunder but I know it stuck in their craw and they will be extra motivated Sunday.
Green Bay Packers 20
Minnesota Vikings 13
Ayahuasca made Aaron Rodgers love football again. I pray for the rest of the NFC North.
Tompa Bay Buccaneers 19
Dallas Cowboys 34
Things aren't as great in Tampa as they were in previous years for Tom Brady. His offensive line stinks. Gronk was like "NAH" when it came to returning for another season and are there some marital issues between him and Gisele? Whatever's going on in his personal life, this is for sure his last season because it seems like everything is wearing him down at this stage in his life.
Denver Broncos 24
Seattle Seahawks 20
Joe and Troy is a massive improvement to the jokers they had calling games last year. Now they get to call DangeRuss facing off against the team that made him a star. LET'S RIDE!
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