Thursday, September 8, 2022

Old Faces In New Places. NFL Week 1 Preview

Notable movements in the NFL offseason.
Maybe I'm being dramatic but I believe this is the most movement among players, coaches AND announcers ever! Russell Wilson to the Broncos. Josh McDaniels takes over as Raiders head coach. Troy Aikman leaves FOX to do MNF on ESPN and Joe Buck got a early release from his contract to join him! Not to mention Al Michaels FINALLY leaves SNF play by play duties for Mike Trico so he can do TNF on Amazon with ESPN's College Gameday analyst Kirk Herbstreit. There are plenty of more moves but I'm inexplicably running late so here's the games.

THE GAMES


2022 NFL season week 1 Buffalo Bills vs Los Angeles Rams
Buffalo Bills  13
LA Rams       34

We kick off the NFL season with the defending world champs hosting a potential AFC powerhouse for years to come. The Bills star players like Josh Allen and Dawson Knox got huge paydays and they boosted their defense with the addition of Von Miller. Despite all that, this should be a comfortable victory for the Rams. Oh and Emmanuel Sanders retired. Good for him!


2022 NFL season week 1 New Orleans Saints vs Atlanta Falcons
New Orleans Saints   24
Atlanta Falcons         10

If Jameis Winston can stay healthy and continue to limit the turnovers like last season before the knee injury, the Saints will have a promising season. Especially since Michael Thomas is back and Tyrann Mathieu is here as well. I'm not thrilled Dennis Allen is coach but it is what it is.


2022 NFL season week 1 Cleveland Browns vs Carolina Panthers
Cleveland Browns   10
Carolina Panthers   22

Baker Mayfield starts the season against the team that dumped him after he brought them their first playoff win in a long ass time. What a coincidence! He gave a more diplomatic response to how he's gonna treat the game compared to when a reporter said he's gonna fuck them up. Since Deshaun Watson is suspended for 11 games, Baker should get a easy win here.


2022 NFL season week 1 San Francisco 49ers vs Chicago Bears
San Francisco 49ers   35
Chicago Bears             30

This is a awkward situation the 49ers put themselves in. Everyone, including Jimmy himself, expected Garoppolo to be gone this season as Trey Lance takes over as starter. Well, not many teams wanted him so ended up resigning...as a backup. At first, the QBs was chill about this situation but reports came out that Trey wasn't to thrilled about last year's starter still being on the team. He better ball out cause fans will get loud with Jimmy G chants if he struggles early. In other news, the NFL will have a second team in Arlington once the Bears move to a new stadium in Arlington Heights, IL. So will games against the Cowboys be called the Arlington Bowl?


2022 NFL season week 1 Pittsburgh Steelers vs Cincinnati Bengals
Pittsburgh Steelers   3
Cincinnati Bengals   33

Was last year a fluke? There's only one way to find out! Judging by this prediction, the Bengals are legit while the Steelers will be shit with Mitchel Trubisky starting as Kenny Pickett learns from the bench. I would've preferred to start Mason Rudolph but it doesn't really matter anyway.


2022 NFL season Philadelphia Eagles vs Detroit Lions
Philadelphia Eagles   30
Detroit Lions               21

People are really rooting for the Lions this season. They're the loveable losers of the NFL with a knee biting coach providing fodder for the sports media. I wonder how many more losses it will take before people start to turn on Dan Campbell when he shows he's all talk but no bite.


2022 NFL season week 1 Indianapolis Colts vs Houston Texans
Indianapolis Colts   20
Houston Texans      27

Colts fans are ecstatic Matt Ryan is their new QB. Honestly, anybody would be a improvement over Carson Wentz. While Texans fans are ecstatic that the massage aficionado is gone. So who will be Lovie Smith's starting QB in his return to NFL coaching? Davis Mills? OOF! Their other QBs aren't much better so like I said before, Lovie will have his work cut out for him. At least fans have red helmets and a connection to the Uvalde football team as a positive.


2022 NFL season week 1 New England Patriots vs Miami Dolphins
New England Patriots   23
Miami Dolphins             16

The Dolphins always seem to give the Patriots fits whenever they play and squeak out shocking wins. They're not gonna do it now but with a coach who actually believes in him for a change along with a star WR in Tyreek Hill, Tua should put up his career best numbers this season.


2022 NFL season week 1 Baltimore Ravens vs New York Jets
Baltimore Ravens   17
New York Jets         20

Here's a revenge game that doesn't get talked about much. Due to Zach Wilson's knee issues, Joe Flacco will start the season against his old team as well. Apparently, this will only be the 2nd time a QB starts the season against the team he won a Super Bowl with. While his successor Lamar Jackson set tomorrow as the deadline to get his new deal done. I get they don't want to pay him Deshaun Watson money but they would be crazy to drag this out any further.


2022 NFL season week 1 Jacksonville Jaguars vs Washington Commanders
All Elite Jaguars          35
Washington Legends  17

I could talk out my ass about this game, or I could share my reaction to all the AEW drama between CM Punk and The Elite. After the All Out PPV, Punk shitted on the EVPs and their friends about how unprofessional they are spreading rumors that he got Colt Cabana fired and Hangman Adam Page going into business for himself on a promo during their angle. He also called out the wrestling media for kissing their asses and being stooges to them.

Well, Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks didn't like that and barged into Punk's locker room like Triple H and Ric Flair in Day of Reckoning. Good thing his friend Ace Steel made the save and threw a chair at Nick Jackson and bit and pulled Omega's hair while the other Buck Matt Jackson got punched by Punk. They had a pull apart with security and cops involved and their belts have been stripped by Tony Khan. I imagine they got their highest ratings from people tuning in to see would they address the situation. It's too bad they probably won't be professional enough to work together and make a angle out of it like the Edge/Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle.


2022 NFL season week 1 New York Giants vs Tennessee Titans
New York Giants     13
Tennessee Titans   15

It's a team that is unsure if their starter is a franchise QB vs a team who may have drafted their franchise QB. We will see can FVB Sports legend Tyrod Taylor push Daniel Jones to up his game and prove to people that he can at least perform to the level of Eli Manning. While Ryan Tannehill's time with the Titans may be coming to a close depending on how he performs on the field and Malik Willis performs in practice. I will always prefer a rookie spend a couple years on the bench learning from the vet than starting as a rookie. With a offense that revolves around Derrick Henry, there's no need to act right now but I would be lying if I said Malik isn't projected to be the starter sometime in the future. Best of luck to both teams' QBs!


2022 NFL season week 1 Kansas City Chiefs vs Arizona Cardinals
Kansas City Chiefs   31
Arizona Cardinals     30

It's a shame the Cardinals pussed out when it got out that they added a clause to Kyler Murray's contract that he had to study 4 hours of film. Granted, he's a great player and it's amazing that he can play at that level without watching that much film according to the organization. But we know that this team tends to start off hot at the beginning of the season only to shit itself at the end. They had to have put that in there at first because they thought he wasn't watching enough film. They're not gonna add that just to fuck with him. That would be stupid. So it's clear that it's a issue but not enough apparently to stick to their guns when he criticized it.


2022 NFL season week 1 Las Vegas Raiders vs Los Angeles Chargers
Las Vegas Raiders         20
Los Angeles Chargers   37

What a coinkydink! It's a rematch of last season's finale where if these teams tied, both teams gets in the playoffs and the Mike Tomlin's playoff streak ends. Instead, analytics aficionado Brandon Staley costed his team by calling a time out when the Raiders was trying to run out the clock in overtime. They got the first down then kicked a game winning field goal. They're not focused on that blunder but I know it stuck in their craw and they will be extra motivated Sunday.


2022 NFL season week 1 Green Bay Packers vs Minnesota Vikings
Green Bay Packers   20
Minnesota Vikings    13

Ayahuasca made Aaron Rodgers love football again. I pray for the rest of the NFC North.


2022 NFL season week 1 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Dallas Cowboys
Tompa Bay Buccaneers   19
Dallas Cowboys                34

Things aren't as great in Tampa as they were in previous years for Tom Brady. His offensive line stinks. Gronk was like "NAH" when it came to returning for another season and are there some marital issues between him and Gisele? Whatever's going on in his personal life, this is for sure his last season because it seems like everything is wearing him down at this stage in his life.


2022 NFL season Denver Broncos vs Seattle Seahawks
Denver Broncos      24
Seattle Seahawks   20

Joe and Troy is a massive improvement to the jokers they had calling games last year. Now they get to call DangeRuss facing off against the team that made him a star. LET'S RIDE!

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