...Is what would be said to me if I was working for a newspaper or had a boss in general due to my weekly missed deadlines of sharing these previews on Reddit. Like damn, I JUST NOW finished editing the 24 teams in the FVB Sports FBS Playoffs because I couldn't download the rosters this year to NCAA Football 14 due to the servers being shutdown. And it's not like I'm overworked, I just have a tendency to waste time bullshitting on other things. For instance, instead of working on this blog yesterday, I was playing random Microsoft browser games. I found a endless runner that was a Mario Kart ripoff. I also found another game that had the exact same character models and scenery of a NSFW game I've been playing. THANK GOD there's no more TNF this season because I probably wouldn't get this out until the 3rd quarter.
THE GAMES
Pittsburgh Steelers 3
Baltimore Ravens 30
After beating down the Dolphins, I'll say Lamar Jackson should be MVP again.
Houston Texans 23
Indianapolis Colts 20
If the Texans get in the playoffs, then DeMeco Ryans should be Coach of the Year.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6
Carolina Panthers 26
If some asshole billionaire dumped his drink on me, I would sue that motherfucker. We spent the past 3 years wearing masks and freaking out over being within 6 ft of one another due to microbes that can travel thru A/C systems and THIS FUCKING GUY dumped all his germs on me? OH HELL NO! I'm driving to work in a Lamborghini Huracan when I'm done with his ass!
Cleveland Browns 24
Cincinnati Bengals 27
We knew Joe would be in the playoffs but we didn't think it would be Flacco...on the Browns!
Minnesota Vikings 38
Detroit Lions 23
The Lions got too cute on the 2-pt conversion and instead of confusing the Cowboys, they confused the refs. Lions OL Dan Skipper was adamant that he was not reporting as a eligible receiver when he went towards the referee before the 2-point attempt. While Dan Campbell got pissy over it during a radio interview. Both said they want to move on from this but I imagine the NFL will make adjustments to their rule to cut out any future deceptive tactics in these situations.
New York Jets 10
New England Patriots 13
It's likely Zach Wilson will be gone next season but who will be the next QB the Jets will ruin? Aaron Rodgers is not a long term solution so they need a guy who they can actually DEVELOP into a starting QB once A-Rod retires. I honestly don't trust this franchise to do that though.
Atlanta Falcons 17
New Orleans Saints 21
All that hype the Bucs was getting late in the season only to piss away the division late by losing to bottom dwelling Carolina in their final game allowing the Saints to leapfrog them into the playoffs. Sad. It's no wonder WR Mike Evans is their only Pro Bowl representative.
Jacksonville Jaguars 14
Tennessee Titans 16
Mike Vrabel hates losing so keeping the Jags out of the playoffs should cheer him up.
Seattle Seahawks 31
Utah Buckeyes 14
Final week with the Utah Buckeyes gimmick. THANK YOU JESUS!!!
Chicago Bears 27
Green Bay Packers 20
I can't call Justin Fields a bum when he's 5th in the league in times sacked this season. His lack of production seems more like a bad offensive line/coaching/receivers/team culture kind of deal than he simply sucks at QB. They can draft all the shiny new rookie QBs they want but if they don't fix the above problems, they will just ruin another QB and repeat the cycle again.
Kansas City Swifties 19
Los Angeles Chargers 10
Maybe Travis should be more worried about winning games than building his brand...
Denver Broncos 7
Las Vegas Raiders 19
I'd say even people who clowned Russell Wilson for the "Let's Ride", the Dangerwich and all the other corny things he done in his career felt he was done dirty by the Broncos when they threatened to bench him if he doesn't wave his injury guarantee. I would've told them to go fuck themselves but that's why I'm not a NFL QB. If the dumbass NFLPA demanded guaranteed contracts like in other leagues, then teams wouldn't be able to pull this shit with players.
Philadelphia Eagles 31
New York Giants 14
A big win over a divisional rival should lift the Eagles spirits after the long slump they're in.
Los Angeles Rams 7
San Francisco 49ers 42
The Rams made the playoffs but it still can't feel great getting blown the fuck out by your rival.
Dallas Cowboys 20
Washington Commanders 6
We was denied the chance to witness Sam Howell break the record for most times sacked in a season but against the Cowboys defense, he should surpass former Cowboy Jon Kitna for 4th.
Buffalo Bills 27
Miami Dolphins 30
Good News: Tua completed the season and was selected for the Pro Bowl.
Bad News: Tyreek Hill's house fire was started by a kid playing with a cigarette lighter.
LAST WEEK: 8-8
OVERALL: 134-121
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