Thursday, December 14, 2023

Offense? What's That? NFL Week 15 Preview

Defensive highlights from the Minnesota Vikings Las Vegas Raiders game

Usually when I see a low scoring game, I chalk it up as a defense struggle. A game where opposing defenses shutdown the offenses and make them earn every inch on the field. But after reading the stats and watching the highlights, this game was more like offensive ineptitude. The number of punts wasn't as notable as the Jets-Giants punting contest considering only 3 points were scored in this game but there were 17 of them. The Raiders really shot themselves in the foot fumbling the ball twice and throwing a INT while Joshua Dobbs was so ineffective, Nick Mullens was subbed in and led them to a game winning field goal. It's weird to say this but it's comforting to know that despite the NFL's efforts to eliminate kicking and neuter defenses, a low scoring single digit game is just as likely to happen as a 100 combined points game.


THE GAMES


2023 NFL season week 15 Los Angeles Chargers vs Las Vegas Raiders
Los Angeles Chargers  13
Las Vegas Raiders        14

The Chargers are in danger of missing the playoffs and now they have to finish the season without Justin Herbert who has a fractured index finger on his throwing hand. They brought up the reason why Florida State is not playing for a national championship to the active roster and North Dakota State legend Easton Stick will finally get to start after riding the bench for 5 years.


2023 NFL season week 15 Minnesota Vikings vs Cincinnati Bengals
Minnesota Vikings   44
Cincinnati Bengals  40

This is the 1st of 3 Saturday games on NFL Network because why the fuck not? Since college football is either doing bowl gamesplayoffs or championship games, the NFL is broadcasting 6 straight weeks of Saturday games. Barring another injury, Josh Dobbs won't be playing in it as his magical Linsanity run comes to a end after getting benched in favor of Nick Mullens. Nick isn't much better than Joshua but the Vikings hope he can fend off all those 6-7 teams under them. Judging by the score, their defense took the day off while the Bengals just suck.


2023 NFL season week 15 Pittsburgh Steelers vs Indianapolis Colts
Pittsburgh Steelers  10
Indianapolis Colts     8

There is no "better" with Steelers QB Mitchell Trubisky. He is what he is.


2023 NFL season week 15 Denver Broncos vs Detroit Lions
Denver Broncos  16
Detroit Lions         9

I'll be real, I'm busier than I thought I would be this week so I'm gonna mix in random stuff below.


2023 NFL season week 15 Atlanta Falcons vs Carolina Panthers
Atlanta Falcons       9
Carolina Panthers  10

In previous FBS Playoffs, I would find a roster online to download to NCAA Football 14 through roster share. I can't do that this year because the servers are off meaning I have to manually edit the rosters of the 24 teams myself including completely changing 2 random teams to account for Liberty and New Mexico State (Ironically, they used NM State's spot for James Madison). I should've did this earlier in the year but I didn't think about it until Monday. So it looks like the playoff won't start off on time Saturday because I have another thing taking up my time.


2023 NFL season week 15 Chicago Bears vs Cleveland Browns
Chicago Bears        23
Cleveland Browns  19

So, the Browns coach Kevin Stefanski said that Joe Flacco will be their starting QB for the rest of the season despite the fact he keeps bouncing back and forth from the practice squad and active roster. It would be such a Browns move if they lose Flacco to another playoff contender.


2023 NFL season week 15 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Green Bay Packers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers   3
Green Bay Packers         28

The Bucs took the division lead after beating the Falcons last week. Those 2 are 6-7 along with the Saints making the possibility of the NFC South producing a winner with a losing record more and more likely, again. But the Panthers are such ass they're eliminated already, LOL.


2023 NFL season week 15 New York Jets vs Miami Dolphins
New York Jets   14
Miami Dolphins  6

Maybe if Tua was more focused on the Titans than on the ManningCast, he would've scored a TD. And with all the drama he's been through this season where the Jets actually thought Tim Boyle and Trevor Siemian where better QB's than him, it has to feel good to Zach Wilson to win AFC Offensive Player of the Week after a shocking win over the Texans in front of Kevin Harlan.


2023 NFL season week 15 New York Giants vs New Orleans Saints
New York Giants        23
New Orleans Saints  13

Speaking of Offensive Player of the Week, Giants QB Tommy DeVito won it on the NFC side. With the whole Italian heritage and living with his parents, he's the new internet sensation.


2023 NFL season week 15 Houston Texans vs Tennessee Titans
Houston Texans    10
Tennessee Titans  34

The NFL decided to hold off on playing a game in Spain for now and will instead play in São Paulo, Brazil next season. Since Brazil is a global market for the Dolphins, they will likely be the host team. They chose São Paulo over Rio de Janeiro because the newish Corinthians Arena is already suitable for a NFL field but they plan to play in Rio in the future as well. They also decided to play up to 8 international games a season starting in 2025 so that'll probably mean 3 games in London, 1 in Brazil, a new location in Madrid, Spain, maybe 2 in Germany and a return to Mexico or Canada. Again, all this travel and the players only have ONE bye week.


2023 NFL season week 15 Kansas City Chiefs vs New England Patriots
Kansas City Chiefs      10
New England Patriots   6

While everyone is focused on Patrick Mahomes throwing a bitchfit over the referees calling a blatantly obvious offensive offsides penalty on Kadarius Toney that wiped out what could've been a game winning TD, the Ravens scooped up QB Malik Cunningham from the Patriots practice squad to reunite him with his Louisville teammate Lamar Jackson. People wondered why the hell is Bailey Zappe/Mac Jones allowed to stink up the joint to a 3-10 record when they had Malik on the practice squad. Apparently the Patriots treated him like a wide receiver because they had no idea how to utilize his skillset. Yeah, I see why even after 6 Super Bowls, Bill Belichick is on the hotseat because he refuses to adapt to the current NFL.


2023 NFL season week 15 San Francisco 49ers vs Arizona Cardinals
San Francisco 49ers  24
Utah Buckeyes            7

Other things that were discussed in the December League Meetings include banning "hip drop" tackle (which is a bullshit term created by people who don't know shit about football), pretending they're not gonna ban the "tush push", changing the kickoff rules again and considering giving the ball back to the offense if they fumble the ball through the endzone instead of it being a turnover because it's "too punitive". This bullshit is why people say football is soft.


2023 NFL season week 15 Washington Commanders vs Los Angeles Rams
Washington Commanders   17
Los Angeles Rams               24

The Super Bowl returns to SoFi Stadium as it was awarded Super Bowl LXI in 2027. That would make 2 straight Big Games in California as Levi's Stadium has the 60th Super Bowl.


2023 NFL season week 15 Dallas Cowboys vs Buffalo Bills
Dallas Cowboys   34
Buffalo Bills         13

Finally, Roger Goodell was asked about the Toney offsides call and he supported the refs decision to flag the Chiefs. Hopefully he fines Mahomes AND Andy Reid for their foolishness. 


2023 NFL season week 15 Baltimore Ravens vs Jacksonville Jaguars
Baltimore Ravens        13
Jacksonville Jaguars  30

NBC won't bring back Al Michaels to call a wildcard game even though they have 3 of them this season. Instead, they will have Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth do 2 while Big Ten commentators Noah Eagle and Todd Blackledge has the other. Cris can't be happy about working 2 games in 3 days. And I guess NBC didn't feel like pairing Jac and Jason Garrett again.


2023 NFL season week 15 Philadelphia Eagles vs Seattle Seahawks
Philadelphia Eagles   24
Seattle Seahawks      14

So what's eating up my attention is Taimanin Asagi Battle Arena (NSFW). The developers recently announced a end of service date on the 19th and I haven't watched all of the harem scenes. In all, I collected 510 cards out of 908 in 16 months of playing this game so I have my work cut out for me to watch all of them in time. All of the scenes are censored (just like their recent English release of Taimanin RPGX Extasy) but I still want to view what crazy shit goes on in these what if scenarios. I could just find them online but I heard they're not translated.


LAST WEEK:   9-6
OVERALL:    113-94

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