It's the final week of the regular season and we already have our playoff matchups. If this was the NFL before they changed the schedule to have divisional matchups in the final week, I would say the playoff teams would rest their starters and play all of their backups. If this was today's NFL, a coach would get fired and I would use a image of Vince McMahon to mock him. Seeing how Vincent Kennedy McMahon stepped down as WWE CEO due to allegations that he paid a former employee he was having a affair with 3 million dollars, I won't do that today.
Despite the header, only the Maulers and Panthers are garbage. The Bandits were underwhelming and the Gamblers were doomed by their shitty offense. At least their defense ended the Stallions undefeated streak so they can hang their hats on that accomplishment. I'm still not convinced this league returns next year but I will still do a end of season review later.
THE GAMES
Philadelphia Stars 21
New Jersey Generals 24
I haven't really paid attention to previous matchups this season since it's only 8 teams in this 10 week league but I will now since these 2 play again next week in the semifinals. The Generals won their Week 3 matchup thanks to a second half comeback. Maybe it's because they already knew they're in the playoffs but they didn't play too well against the Panthers. Likewise for the Stars against the Maulers. You would think 2 of the best teams would beat 2 of the worse teams by more than a combined field goal after forcing 7 combined turnovers but NOPE. In the rematch, I'll go with the Generals since they beat their last opponent by 2.
Birmingham Stallions 17
Tampa Bay Bandits 15
Both teams are coming off of tough losses. The Stallions lost out on the chance to leave Birmingham perfect while the Bandits lost out on the chance to visit Canton. Neither team really has anything to play for but at least the Stallions can send the fans home happy a final time.
Michigan Panthers 42
Pittsburgh Maulers 41
Who will win the Garbage Bowl at Legion Field? Both teams played hard last week giving the playoff teams a scare. But their constant fuckups and shitty coaching costed them the games. I really wanted the Maulers to go winless but I'll settle for them having the worst record instead.
New Orleans Breakers 12
Houston Gamblers 16
It doesn't really matter who I choose at this point since I'm not betting on these games and I will have a winning record even if I'm wrong the rest of the season. So I will gamble on the Gamblers winning here. Their defense is great, it's just that their offense is ugh. And their coaching is even more UGH. The Breakers have been up and down lately so this lost won't be surprising.
BTW, shoutout to Shea Patterson for going from nearly worst to nearly first. I mentioned before that the USFL would need to change their outro due to him going from the Panthers to the Breakers. I should've known they wasn't gonna rerecord him in a new hoodie when all they can do is just zoom in on him so the logo of his old team won't show on the screen.
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LAST WEEK 2-2
OVERALL 26-10
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