I originally was not gonna write about the USFL because I'm busy saving videos so I can continue the Worldstar Lunch Break iCandy series. But as the start of the season neared, I got more interested in it to the point where I'm like "Fuck It! Let's blog about this league!". Besides, it will rev up my snarkiness for the NFL End Of Season post next week.
If you're somehow reading this but didn't know about the USFL, basically FOX revived the old league by buying up the dead trademarks and presenting it for a modern audience (Fun fact, this is actually the 4th time someone tried resurrecting the USFL). It's like how Hollywood is out of ideas so they revive old programs and "modernize" it because they're too lazy to create new shows. They bring back old sitcoms, but the cast is now all Black. Or they use the rights to a beloved movie franchise and make the protagonists of the new flick all women. Well FOX brought back this old football league but now touchdowns can be 9 points. Since a network owns this league, then it should last the whole season and the checks should clear as well.
Having said that, FOX is facing a lawsuit from representatives of the old USFL. As someone without a law degree, I always assumed that if you don't renew and use your trademarks after a certain amount of years, then it becomes "DEAD" and anybody can buy up the rights and use it themselves. I would have to believe that the old USFL trademarks were expired in that time period since they folded in 1986. So FOX should be legally free to buy them and air the league to fill their spring lineup with live sports. A federal judge recently allowed them to continue using the USFL brand until the case ends but remarked that the original USFL owners might win this copyright infringement case. I wonder what Donald Trump think about this. Anyways, like with the XFL, I'm just gonna wing it with these predictions based on who's on the team.
THE GAMES
New Jersey Generals 24
Birmingham Stallions 14
The team names are essentially fake news because all the games in the 10 week regular season will be played in Birmingham while Canton will host the playoffs. It saves on travel costs but it's still lame for a billion dollar corporation to cheap out like this. Maybe they didn't pay for those copyrights after all. As for the actual game, the only person on either of these teams I ever heard of is Luis Perez. And that's only for his time playing in 2 other failed leagues the AAF and XFL. Which makes it ridiculous that he doesn't even have a headshot on the Generals roster page. Just for that, I give them the win because I have no idea who those Stallion jobbers are.
Houston Gamblers 25
Michigan Panthers 26
Both NFL bust Paxton Lynch and Michigan Man Shea Patterson are QBs for the Panthers. They are by no means star players but at least I actually HEARD of them! They also don't have a kicker so it looks like Mr. 7-9 will be aggressive only going for 2 and 3 point conversions. Ironic to play a high risk, high reward gameplan against a team literally named the Gamblers!
Philadelphia Stars 18
New Orleans Breakers 10
If Madden still had create a team, how many of these players would be on the free agent list? Because that's what it feels like, that they made teams with free agent players in Madden and whatever practice squader you can get to fill out the rest of the roster. Yet, the Stars don't have a punter so it looks like they will be aggressive as well and always go for it on 4th downs.
Tampa Bay Bandits 31
Pittsburgh Maulers 29
The Maulers may have Kyle Lauletta, who is another player I actually heard of. But the Bandits have, in my opinion, the best QB in the league, XFL legend Jordan Ta'amu. He may not be good enough for a permanent NFL roster spot but I expect him to continue the successes he had in the second coming of the (not)Xtreme Football League. Todd Haley being his coach is not idea for me but at least he has NFL experience so maybe they will be a title contenders.
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