Just when you thought all those jiu jitsu
classes helped Tua Tagovailoa put those concussion issues behind him,
he suffers another one against the Bills when he ran into
Damar Hamlin. Like with
Tyrod Taylor, Tua's career is snakebitten where any type of success gets met with
crushing adversity that makes you wonder who he pissed off to deserve such
awful luck. He showed last season when healthy, he's one of the best QBs in
the league but each concussion makes him more suspectable to another one so
it's 50/50 on whether he finishes the season or not. I imagine that issue
was why Miami waited so long to pay him because do you pay a star player who
can't stay on the field or start someone who is not as talented but isn't
injury prone? So once again people are saying he should
retire as Skylar Thompson takes over. Oh God no!
Good thing they also
signed
Tyler Huntley from the Ravens practice squad because Skylar aint it. This
team is too good to put a mid QB like Skylar (or Tim Boyle) behind center.
It's too bad the NFL doesn't also have a flag football league. Tua doesn't
intend on retiring if he gets cleared but his brain clearly can't take the
impact of football. Flag would be a great compromise where Tua can continue
playing football while avoiding all the hits that comes with tackle
football.
THE GAMES
New England Patriots 7
New York Jets 31
Aaron Rodgers is
2-2 vs the Patriots but now he gets to beat their ass as a divisional rival.
New York Giants 17
Cleveland Browns 13
Both of these offenses
are trash but the Browns defense will fuck up allowing a late Giants TD.
Chicago Bears 0
Indianapolis Colts 24
It's the battle of #31 offense and defense! This simulation doesn't seem right
but oh well.
Houston Texans 19
Minnesota Vikings 26
Sam Darnold is a
top 10 QB. Never thought I would type that after how his career started.
Philadelphia Eagles 30
New Orleans Saints 34
People who were
mad
at how much dick riding of the Eagles ESPN was doing on MNF was thrilled
to see Dem Birds
lose
to the Dirty Birds. Like goddamn, I get Jason Kelce joined them but ESPN
don't even ride the Cowboys this hard when they do their games. Eagles
fans thought they had this game won but that 30th ranked
defense came back to bite them in the ass. Kirk Cousins drove down the
field in front of Matt Ryan and won the game for them. Philly fans are gonna be sick
to their stomachs following that loss with taking a L to
Michael Jackson.
Los Angeles Chargers 21
Pittsburgh Steelers 17
The
Steagles
will lose but hey, girls flag football is now a
sanctioned
high school sport in Pennsylvania! That makes them the 13th state to do so
including California, Florida and New York. I'm surprised Texas isn't on
the list since they love football so much. You're telling me there're not
enough girls playing it in Texas but there are in fucking ALASKA!?!
Eventually it will be sanctioned nationwide then it will be played in
colleges, pro leagues and on ESPN/ABC.
Denver Broncos 20
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7
I guess that 9th ranked
defense
is too much for Baker Mayfield to handle.
Green Bay Packers 0
Tennessee Titans 6
As much as Titans QB Will Levis got
shitted
on by his coach, I'm shocked he's still on this team. The Titans have the
#1 defense so I figured they would just cut his ass and start Mason Rudolph.
He could go have fun in the UFL, CFL, ELF or wherever for all they care.
Instead, he's still here and will work on
limiting mistakes. This looks like it will be a close game so just don't
turn the ball over doing something stupid and let the defense and K Nick
Folk win it for you Will.
Carolina Panthers 14
Las Vegas Raiders 30
The Panthers are such a shitshow, fans already have bags over their heads.
Like damn, they ruined ANOTHER QB in Bryce Young as they
benched
him in favor of Andy Dalton. Like with Sam Darnold and Baker, he needs to
get the fuck away from that dumpster fire and go to a franchise that
actually knows what the fuck they're doing. Unfortunately, only a handful
of teams would fit that bill and they have no need to hoard misused QBs.
Thank God for the UFL.
Miami Dolphins 24
Seattle Seahawks 26
In other news, Robbie was Chosen to be
released
from the Dolphins practice squad.
Detroit Lions 20
Arizona Cardinals 40
These teams are
fairly even
but the Cards will double up the Lions. Aint that something.
Baltimore Ravens 37
Dallas Cowboys 44
I'm ready to call the Cowboys frauds but the Ravens might be bigger frauds
this year.
San Francisco 49ers 16
Los Angeles Rams 44
If the Niners turn out to be frauds, you can blame EA for placing their RB
on the cover of their video game. Nothing good happens when you entrust
Electronic Arts with your cherished assets.
Kansas City Chiefs 30
Atlanta Falcons 26
Despite the Chiefs' piss poor defense, I don't see a Kirk Cousins comeback on SNF.
Jacksonville Jaguars 16
Buffalo Bills
31
Despite the illogical
booking by Tony Kahn, AEW reportedly
has a 4 year, $170 million per year deal with WBD. It boggles my mind how
the fuck, WHY THE FUCK, would WBD want to continue investing in AEW where
all their programing combined gets less views than an episode of
Smackdown! Even if that complete waste of time Rampage gets
cancelled, their new show Shockwave will suck just as bad if not worse. Is there
not college volleyball or soccer they could show on Wednesday nights that
would outdraw AEW? Like damn, Smackdown regularly had over a million
viewers yet FOX gladly booted them for college football. You would think
after layoffs and shutting down Cartoon Network's website, they would want
to save some money but nope, they're giving more money to someone who
makes Vince Russo competent.
Washington Commanders 34
Cincinnati Bengals
41
Commanders kicker Austin Seibert
singlefootedly
beat the Giants 21-18 as the G-Men gave up on kicking when their
punter Jamie Gillan missed a PAT after K Graham Gano got
injured. Sadly he won't get the chance to put the FOOT in Football with 14 field
goals against Cincy.
LAST WEEK: 9-7
OVERALL: 20-12
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