Saturday, January 7, 2023

"WWE Board Members...YOU'RE FIRED!!!" NFL Week 18 Preview

Vince McMahon

Just like Eric Bischoff, Vincent Kennedy McMahon returned to the WWE. You got NO CHANCE in hell of getting rid of Vinny Mac that easily. Since he has 85% of the voting power, he could've came back at anytime he wanted. So he decided to run in and head the sale of WWE himself. Who will buy it? NBC? FOX? Disney? The Rock? Saudi princes? Who knows but the sale will change the landscape of the professional wrestling business. For better or for worse.


THE GAMES


Kansas City Chiefs  27
Las Vegas Raiders  13

I'm just gonna zoom right thru these games this week that don't really matter (to me).


Tennessee Titans         27
Jacksonville Jaguars  23

They didn't get flexed into SNF but at least they get the primetime spot in the Saturday doubleheader. I was wondering why the Titans fell off so hard, then I looked at how terrible they are ratings wise. They're lucky to even be in this position to win the AFC South! Joshua Dobbs will start again since he's apparently a better passer than rookie Malik Willis. Even though the simulation says the NBA 2K generated player will lead them to victory, I will still consider the Jags season a success. If only they had a better defense, they would be champs here.


Tompa Bay Buccaneers   20
Atlanta Falcons                17

Bucs DB Ronde Barber is a finalist for the Pro Football HOF. Good for him!


New England Patriots   9
Buffalo Bills                  31

I held off on posting this because I wanted to see how Damar Hamlin's condition was before I came up with how I want this blogpost to go. He recently surprised his teammates with a Facetime call with the tubes removed so that was great to hear. Even better, the doctors believe he will be back to his old self before the cardiac arrest. I don't see him playing again this season but it's great to hear that he doesn't seem to have any lingering effects from that medical scare.


Minnesota Vikings   27
Chicago Bears          6

Bears owner Virginia Halas McCaskey turned 100 years old. That is all.


Baltimore Ravens    17
Cincinnati Bengals  38

Now that we know Damar will be OK, Bengals fans are pissed that their team will get fucked over by the changes in the AFC playoffs to accommodate the Bills-Bengals game being canceled. The Bengals won the AFC North but they can't get the top spot anymore. Coach Zac Taylor was mad that the NFL could decide home field with a coin flip even though the league's bylaws state in the event of a canceled games, it should go by win percentage. I feel if they just gave both teams a tie, we wouldn't have this drama but drama is the NFL's bedfellow.


Houston Texans       7
Indianapolis Colts  13

Colts coach Jeff Saturday was mad that no one stepped in when Giants rookie Kayvon Thibodeaux made snow angels after injuring Nick Foles on a sack. Usually that's a sign the linemen isn't too fond of the QB. This season can't end soon enough for the horseshoe.


New York Jets     10
Miami Dolphins   30

Just when you thought Tua was safe, there's rumors that Tom Brady and Sean Payton could team up in Miami again. Like goddamn, the Dolphins as a team gave up 34 sacks while Brady has been sacked 22 times. And they are far, FAR more mobile than him! So what the hell makes you think that would be a great idea? Especially if you think long term stability at QB.


Carolina Panthers     28
New Orleans Saints  16

It was too little, too late for the Panthers as they lost to the Bucs in the NFC South title game. This is another big cat that needs to fix...everything if they want success next season. 


Cleveland Browns    13
Pittsburgh Steelers   27

I bet the Steelers wished rumors that a 8th team being added to the playoffs were real. That way, they could've fought for 2 spots instead of just 1. Now they have to win and hope the Patriots and Dolphins lose so they can leapfrog them for the last playoff spot. Good luck with that!


New York Giants         6
Philadelphia Eagles   24

Now that the Eagles don't have to worry about facing a team on what should be their bye week, they could afford to rest Jalen Hurts another week. BUT due to Gardner Minshew losing both starts, they're in danger of losing the #1 seed if the Giants beat them and the Cowboys win. So they're in a tricky position. Risk hurting Hurts to get a bye or take a chance at being a wildcard.


Dallas Cowboys           17
Washington Demons   30

The Eagles will be the Commies biggest fans if they keep the Cowboys from winning the East.


Los Angeles Chargers  26
Denver Broncos            10

When you have Walmart money, you can spend $400,000 to replace the field for a game. They said the usual clichés that it means they're serious about winning but I'll believe it when I see it.


Los Angeles Rams   41
Seattle Seahawks     35

(St. Louis) Rams (and Jags) WR Torry Holt is a HOF finalist too. Good for him!


Arizona Cardinals        9
San Francisco 49ers   24

As well as Niners LB Patrick Willis and 2015 Cardinal DE Dwight Freeney.


Detroit Lions              27
Green Bay Packers   24

People got so pissed at Pat McAfee for talking shit about the Lions, he cut that part out of the Aaron Rodgers interview. He later apologized but still got his dig in on the Red Wings. When you're passionate like Pat, sometimes you go overboard when you feel you been slighted. Despite the fact that MCDC was on his show 3 weeks ago. At least he didn't double down on it.


LAST WEEK     9-6
OVERALL     136-117-2

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