I don't remember why I took so goddamn long to do this but here's my USFL end of season review. I only paid attention to the season for about half of the time so don't expect any in depth analysis. Hell, I didn't even know the teams had cheerleaders until I saw the Stallions cheerleaders on the field after Birmingham won their 2nd straight championship. Last season I guess they only had one USFL branded squad who cheered on all the teams.
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| Do cheerleaders mail it in when they're only in front of like 80 fans? |
This season, they had 4 squads who changed team allegiance depending on who was playing in Memphis (Showboats/Gamblers), Canton (Maulers/Generals), Detroit (Panthers/Stars) and Birmingham (Stallions/Breakers). With how few people go to these games, why even bother?
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| Kiara as a Stallion Kiara as a Breaker |
So lets get this review out the way before anymore USFL players get cut from the NFL.
END OF SEASON TEAM REVIEW
Birmingham Stallions 8-2
They weren't as dominant as last season, but they proved why they was the clear-cut favorite to repeat as champs. And since I'm so late in getting this post out, I guess I give some shoutouts to players who are still on NFL rosters. QB Alex McGough recently signed with the Packers but they disrespected him by not acknowledging him as a 2X USFL champion. Fellow Stallion Brandon Aubrey is the last kicker standing on the Cowboys after they cut Tristan Vizcaino so it looks like he will be starting like fellow USFL alumni KaVontae Turpin. Even coach Skip Holtz got a gig as special assistant to Northwestern's interim coach David Braun. It's about time the NFL put some RESPECK on their names as they have the most players who made the jump!
New Orleans Breakers 7-3
Another year. Another semifinal loss to the champs. McLeod Bethel-Thompson was definitely an improvement over the turnover machine Kyle Sloter (gets a ring as a 3rd stringer holla) passing for 2,433 yards, 14 TDs and 8 Ints. He was also sacked 25 times which was 3rd highest in the league. Neither he nor leading rusher Wes Hills got a call from the NFL so they probably will be back next season. Maybe not McLeod, he was released from his contract. I don't see teams making a late push to sign a 35-year-old QB, even if he is a 2X Grey Cup winner. So if he doesn't retire, he could go back to the CFL, return to the USFL or jump to the XFL.
Houston Gamblers 5-5
Last season, they had a great defense that was saddled with a terrible offense. This year, their run game was really the only thing worth a damn. They're still better than the North division though. And hey, at least they got 4 guys on NFL rosters so far including WR Isaiah Zuber taking a 2nd crack at the Raiders and Jaguars coach Doug Pederson's tight end son Josh! Nepotism didn't work out for Tim Tebow when Urban Meyer was there so let's see will Josh do better.
Memphis Showboats 5-5
Memphis had their Welcome To The USFL moment when they was boat raced by the Stallions 42-2 in week 2. Again, this was not an expansion team. This is the same Tampa Bay Bandits squad minus Jordan Ta'amu who returned to the XFL to become a spring football legend again. That proves that Jordan wasn't the problem, Todd Haley is just a bad coach. Chiefs fans knows he's bad. Wikipedia knows he's bad. He really shouldn't be brought back next year.
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| RIP Alex Collins |
Pittsburgh Maulers 4-6
Speaking of bad coaches, it's a wonder what you can do when you dump your shitty hardass coach who blames others for his fuckups. Granted, the Maulers only won 4 games this year but since the North was so piss poor terrible, they nearly completed the worst to first storyline. They had the chance to win the championship with a losing record like the Arlington Renegades in the XFL but it was not meant to be. It's interesting how they won more games but got far less players a tryout in the NFL compared to last year's dumpster fire. BTW, since they changed their colors to black & yellow are there ANY Pittsburgh teams that don't use those colors?
Michigan Panthers 4-6
The Panthers looked good at first then it went quickly downhill from there. It's like they was possessed by the ghost of Jeff Fisher with how they fell off after starting the season 2-0. Despite that, they was still in the playoff hunt to the very end (because the whole division was dogshit). At least 10 guys got NFL gigs out of it. We'll see how many of them will return next year.
Philadelphia Stars 4-6
Damn Philly, WHAT HAPPENED!?!? They went from runner ups for the championship to runner ups for worst record! Coach Bart Andrus returned along with Case Cookus who passed for 2,294 yards, 15 TDs and 9 Ints so it's not like he regressed this season. I'm assuming Case getting sacked 29 times killed their drives. That would explain how they led the league in kicking field goals. Plus, their defense sure as hell didn't pull their weight allowing a league worse 242 points.
New Jersey Generals 3-7
Who would've thought they would miss NFL Pro Bowler return specialist KaVontae Turpin and XFL Championship Game MVP QB Luis Perez THIS MUCH! The Generals did the opposite of the Maulers and went from first to worse without those guys. They went through 3 QBs who combined for 1,620 passing yards, 11 TDs and 6 Ints to go along with being sacked 14 times. I'd say it's safe to say De'Andre Johnson and Kyle Lauletta are not starting QB material. Their 3rd QB Dakota Prukop went back to Canada and has 3 rushing TDs for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers so far in 7 CFL games. If he could catch, block and tackle, he would be their Taysom Hill.
LAST WEEK: 1-0
PLAYOFFS: 2-1
OVERALL: 25-18
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